Bring Me to Life
by kumi meyano
Summary: [sessrin] Rin gets separated from Sesshoumaru, and 10 years later she returns to him. (chapter 13 & 14 up!)
1. Goodbyes and Meetings

**Bring Me to Life  
  
By: Kumine Meyano  
  
Disclaimer: NO,... sighs, I don't own Inu yasha or any of its characters... much less Sesshoumaru... soooooo: DON'T SUE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
A/N: kumi: this IS my first fic, and I should be nervous.... But NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Because some (insert all kind of insults here) person made ff.net be fag, and they erased my fic and account. So I post it again. Without chapter ten, the lemon. Yes, cry all you want, but it wont come back. Well at least not here. I let u know were will it be later on. The chapters are exactly the same, without the thank you because they would not make sense. (I am on the verge on killing my monitor, so be kind with me.)  
  
On with the story.....  
**  
_Goodbyes and Meetings_  
  
It was a Saturday afternoon, at sunset. Naraku was dead. Kikyou had realized that Inu yasha did not love her and found inner peace; thus, her soul went peacefully to the great beyond. Inu yasha and Kagome had decided to get married and live in her era. Everyone was sad; the time had come for them to part their ways. Since Sesshoumaru had helped Inu yasha defeat Naraku, they had a sort of agreement not to kill each other within eyesight. Kagome had told Rin and Sesshoumaru to come bid farewell. She kept the reason for herself.  
  
"Well, we have to leave." Kagome said in a saddened tone. Shippo was hanging from her neck, refusing to let her go.  
  
"Shippo, don't make this harder for us than it already is." Inu yasha said. Shippo softly let go of Kagome and walked to a pregnant Sango and Miroku's side.  
  
"I'm really going to miss you guys..." Shippo softy said. Miroku put a hand on Shippo's shoulder. "Let's go." The couple and the fox demon turned around saying their final farewells to Kagome and Inu yasha, leaving for the village they lived in  
  
Seeing that nobody was around anymore, Sesshoumaru finally came out of the forest with Rin. Inu yasha was startled; he wasn't exactly expecting his brother there.  
  
"What are you doing here?!" was Inu yasha's reflect comment. Sesshoumaru gave him a cold stare but simply decided to ignore his brother. Instead he gave Rin a small push towards Kagome.  
  
"What did you called us for woman?" Actually Kagome wanted to speak to Rin in private.  
  
"What do you mean?" Inu yasha barked at Sesshoumaru, then he directed himself to Kagome. "Did you tell them to come?"  
  
"Heh... Well actually yes--" "WHAT for?!" he snapped. Kagome flinched a little. Recovering quickly, she said, "Well I want to speak to Rin," then she turned to Sesshoumaru who was going to follow them, she finished her sentence, "ALONE."  
  
"Alright already, quit your jabbering!" the hanyu snapped once again. Kagome quickly motioned for Rin to follow her and shooed Sesshoumaru away. After they were at a good 50 feet away from the two brothers, Kagome whispered:  
  
"Here Rin," Kagome gave Rin a small reddish brown bag, with what seemed to be a sphere inside, but Rin couldn't tell. "Just keep it safe until you are away from everybody, and the open it. I'm sure you'll like it!" Kagome winked her an eye and put a finger on her own mouth, motioning to keep it a secret. Then Kagome ran off to Inu yasha while Rin slowly started moving towards Sesshoumaru but then picked up the pace. Kagome tugged Inu yasha softly with her elbow, to remind him of something. Irritated, Inu yasha stepped forward shyly. This behavior amused Sesshoumaru.  
  
"Actually there is something I have to say, erm... Sesshoumaru." Inu yasha avoided his brother's eyes. "The tetsaiga..." he continued mumbling, "I'm not keeping it. sighs Since you are the only one left able to handle it... I'm giving it to you." Sesshoumaru, who pitied his brother for his situation, only grinned at Inu yasha, very mischievously. Handing his brother the sword, Inu yasha freed himself of any ties he had to the feudal era, and shamefully walked towards Kagome.  
  
"Bye Rin! Bye Sesshoumaru!" shouted Kagome at the well's edge, waving her arm friendly. "Feh!" grumbled Inu yasha, as he walked in the well. The two disappeared beneath the well, never to be seen again.  
  
Something like a twitch appeared on Sesshoumaru's face, but Rin didn't pay too much attention to it anyway. She was focused on the small bag that Kagome just had given her.  
  
"Hmm...wonder what it is?"  
  
"What is what?" asked Sesshoumaru almost instantaneously.  
  
"Huh? Nothing Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin innocently said, remembering what Kagome said about opening it.  
  
  
  
Night had fallen and Rin and Sesshoumaru had already arrived at the castle. Jaken had been frantically asking Sesshoumaru stupid questions he really shouldn't ask. Sesshoumaru shut him up and ordered him to only speak when spoken to. Sesshoumaru had gone to his room and Rin to her's. As soon as her door closed she jumped on her bed and stared at the small bag quickly before opening it. Inside it was a beautiful pink sphere, shining like a pearl. It had a mysterious glow that drew Rin to touch it. When Rin's digit touched the surface of the sphere, she instantly entered a trance. Everything was so breezy and calm.  
  
"Rin? Rin, wake up." A sweet woman's voice spoke.  
  
"Who—Who's there?" Rin asked into the misty pinkish nothingness.  
  
"Rin, I am Midoriko, the priestess. I am sure you've heard of me." Rin silently nodded.  
  
"I guard the Shikon no tama's spirit. Every time somebody takes hold of the jewel I introduce myself as the keeper. Now I am before you." The priestess known as Midoriko showed herself. She had fluent black hair, she was dressed similarly to the priestess Kikyou, and her eyes gave off an eerie glow, but had no real color.  
  
"The Shikon no tama..." Rin gasped, "this is the ancient jewel that everybody was fighting and killing each other for..."  
  
"Indeed... this jewel's power is far beyond most people's understanding. The jewel can make your deepest desires come true." The misty vision was starting to clear. "Anything you want, ...come true."  
  
Exactly after those two words, Rin exited the small trance, gasping and breathing heavily, hand clutching the Shikon no tama to her chest. The only things she could think about was Midoriko's eerie gaze and her last words: _"Anything you want, ...come true."_  
  
All she could then think about was Sesshoumaru, how he had wanted that jewel. _'If he had the jewel, maybe he would love Rin. But he could also leave Rin! No, that Rin could not bare...'  
  
_ **_End of Chapter One  
_  
PEOPLE PLEASE:  
  
You see that lil' square down there? Ya know if you hit it, I write faster!!!!  
  
RRREVIEW!!!**


	2. Wolf Attack!

**Dicsclaimer: If I owned it, do you think I would be writing here? (I would be gettin' some!!!!!!!)  
  
A/N: Because some (insert all kind of insults here) person made ff.net be fag, they erased my fic and account. So I post it again. Without chapter ten, the lemon. Yes, cry all you want, but it wont come back. Well at least not here. I let u know were will it be later on. The chapters are exactly the same, without the thank you because they would not make sense. (I am on the verge on killing my monitor, so be kind with me.)  
  
To the story...  
**  
_Wolf Attack!  
_  
Several months had passed since Kagome and Inu yasha's departure. It was a warm spring afternoon, and the sunset had started. The tall trees made the forest a dark place, and the night was making it even darker.  
  
Rin had decided to walk back to the camping place from the meadow she had spent the day in. She could feel the humid leaves cracking under her feet as she walked. As the darkness grew thicker, Rin quickened her pace, hurrying to her destination. She could hardly see the trees surrounding her. Her breathing became harsher, and soon she was panting. Suddenly, some low growls could be heard. As soon as she heard them, she started to walk a little faster. Simultaneously, the growls became pants, making Rin's heartbeat accelerate even more. Running as fast as she could, she grew somewhat exhausted, but kept running for her life. Without warning, she started to lose her balance and tripped over some tree roots. Turning her head and looking back, she saw multiple creatures, whose shadowy bodies were humongous. Their eyes were glowing bright scarlet red, wanting only one thing. Blood.  
  
The creatures took some steps forwards revealing their physique. Their heads and body were a bit similar to a fox to the human eye, but Rin could remember these creatures perfectly. These were the same kind of demons that had attacked her years ago. Wolf demons. Rin panicked with death's fear and tears rolled down her soft cheeks.  
  
"SESSHOUMARU-SAMA, HELP ME!!!!" was the only thing she could say before the wolves decided to close the distance between them and the helpless girl. "Help me, anyone!!" She screamed in fear. The wolves then attacked her. One of the wolves managed to sink his fangs deep into Rin's right shoulder. The blood started leak out quickly. She kicked one of the wolves in the gut startling the others a bit, making the demons draw back. Since she could barely move, Rin helplessly crawled backwards until she felt a tree's trunk with her back.  
  
"Help me!!!" She screamed in a shaky voice.  
  
She was sobbing, scared to death, not being able to defend herself. Her body was shaking violently. Out of nowhere, silver flashed through her eyes. Next thing she knew, the wolves were missing their heads and several other body parts, blood spraying like there was no tomorrow out of their necks. When she saw Sesshoumaru, she realized he had saved her. Rin lowered her head, curled up in a human ball, weeping and shaking.  
  
"Rin." Sesshoumaru said. His normally expressionless face showed some compassion towards the girl. When he had no response he walked towards Rin. Lowering to her eye level he asked. "Are you all right?" No response again. The question's answer was obvious. She had a wolf's bite on her right shoulder that was bleeding badly. Cupping her face with his hands he said:  
  
"Rin, please don't cry." Rin stared shyly at him, still crying. Frustrated by not being able to calm the girl down, Sesshoumaru wrapped her with his arms, holding and cradling her softly.  
  
As he tightened his grip around her, Rin buried her head in his chest and sobbed somewhat more. Looking down, a slight smile curved up his lips, and a mix of compassion and sadness conquered his gaze, and he kissed her on the forehead. Rin's arms went around Sesshoumaru's waist, giving him a thank you hug, while her sobbing intensified. Stepping up, still with Rin's body in his arms, Sesshoumaru headed back to his castle to tend to her wounds. By the time they arrived, Rin had fallen into a deep slumber. For the first time, Sesshoumaru had felt the fear of losing a loved one. In fact, the one he held dearest. Rin.  
  
  
  
When they arrived, it was already pitch black and everybody seemed to be sleeping, except for the personnel working their night shift. All the corridors were decorated with semi-gothic architecture, most details in red and some in golden. Some chandeliers decorated the hallways. Paintings of great demon lords roamed the walls. All of these luxuries, no matter how full of details they were, always seemed without life. A cold breeze was always dwelling within. Sesshoumaru walked through the west wing's corridors swiftly, making no sound. Unaware of her surroundings, Rin was still asleep in his arms. Finally reaching his destination, Sesshoumaru delivered the girl to her room. Laying her in bed, he removed her hair off her face, admiring her childish beauty. As if by instinct, unable to resist the urge, Sesshoumaru placed a soft kiss on Rin's small lips. Then he simply turned around and headed for his own room.  
  
An hour later, a confused Rin woke up in an unfamiliar surrounding. "Where... Oh! Sesshoumaru-sama's castle! How did I..." Remembering the previous events, Rin lowered her head. _'Domo arigato Sesshoumaru-sama, you saved my life today. How can I ever thank you?_' Then she thought of a present someone had given her in the previous months. '_Should I...? I mean, would it be appropriate?'  
_  
Rin climbed off her bed and headed outside her room. The corridor led straight to a red stairway that was the entrance to the master bedroom. His bedroom. '_Sesshoumaru-sama's room..._' Before she knew it she was halfway up the red steps. When she arrived at the door she knocked two times. There was no response. Hesitating a bit she knocked a second time.  
  
"Yes, come in." Rin heard through the thick door. Pushing the door a bit was all there was needed to open it, since it was already unlocked. Sesshoumaru could see the wooden door open slowly. Having expected Jaken or one of the west wing servants, Sesshoumaru was quite taken aback when Rin walked through the door. Still his face was as expressionless as ever.  
  
"Um, may Rin speak to Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin was blushing violently, for she was awake at the middle of the night and bothering her master.  
  
"Yes, you may." Sesshoumaru had never admitted it to himself, but he loved it when Rin spoke in third person. He actually thought it was cute.  
  
"I—I wanted to t—thank you for s—saving my l—life earlier." Rin was stammering of a mix of shyness and embarrassment. Both her hands were behind her and her right ankle a little twisted.  
  
"So, is this is what you came to speak to me about? You do not need to thank me, for it is my duty." '_Duty?!_' Both of them thought of it at the same time, but decided to ignore the fact that the word was spoken.  
  
"But Rin wanted to give you a present in return! Can Rin still give it to Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin was almost pleading him. Of course, Sesshoumaru wouldn't try to disappoint Rin in any way, and the idea of her giving him a present made him somewhat curious and highly interested in the girl's intentions.  
  
"You may still give me the present." Sesshoumaru said.  
  
"But you must promise not to abandon Rin after she gives you the present!" Rin said in a slightly resentful tone.  
  
"I promise." '_Why would I ever abandon my sweet Rin because of something she would give me?_' The thought instantly rushed through his head before Rin spoke again.  
  
"Here! Kagome-chan gave it to me before she left. I thought you might like it." Rin handed him the small reddish brown bad she had been keeping secretly. "It's a like a genie. When you call her, she will grant you a wish. Any wish you ever want!"  
  
Sesshoumaru gave a quick glance at the bag. It seemed like an insignificant bag with an object inside. '_It must be a mere child's toy. Still, what would Rin give me?_' As he thought this, he sort of chuckled to his insides. "Thank you for this present Rin. Now you must return to your room and sleep. You must gain energy after what happened today."  
  
Without hesitation, Rin gave a happy, wide smile to her lord, and headed to her room skipping happily. Sesshoumaru waited for Rin to arrive at her room to open his gift. Carefully, he pulled the string that kept the opening together. To his surprise this was no child's toy, instead it was something no child should be allowed to ever hold. The Shikon no tama. He had thought that Inu yasha's woman had taken it with her to her time. But there it was, in his very hands. '_What should I do with this? What would Rin be doing with such an object...? Hmm... I will not decide now, for it's power is not needed._' Thus he covered the sphere in its wrappings and kept it in a secret place, so no one would ever find it; and eventually, he forgot about it too.  
  
**_End of Chapter Two  
_  
A/N: kumi: joojojojojo! 'nother doooone!!!!!  
  
sesshy: I got the Shikon no thama... AND I FORGOT IT!!!!!!!!! DO YOU THINK IM AN IDIOT LIKE YOU?!?!  
  
kumi: (sobs, whimpers like a puppy) OO  
  
sesshy: (pats kumi in the head, gives her a cracker.) --;;  
  
rin: such moron...  
  
kumi: ANYWAY,... please review !!!  
  
the box is waitin'! it gon't go anywere!  
  
PLEASEEEEEEEEEE!!!!**


	3. Night Before

**Discalimer: Nope, Rumiko Takahashi still hasn't given me Sesshoumaru... (sighs)  
  
A/N: Because some (insert all kind of insults here) person made ff.net be fag, they erased my fic and account. So I post it again. Without chapter ten, the lemon. Yes, cry all you want, but it wont come back. Well at least not here. I let u know were will it be later on. The chapters are exactly the same, without the thank you because they would not make sense. (I am on the verge on killing my monitor, so be kind with me.)  
  
The story...**  
  
{{{strange dream sequence}}}  
  
_Night Before_  
  
It was mid morning in a sunny day, not a cloud in the sky. Some years had passed since Rin had given him the Shikon no tama, in fact, Rin was now 11 years old. Everybody was busy doing his or her chores. Rin was picking flowers around in some of the meadows from the forests surrounding the castle. Sesshoumaru observed her silently. Then, Sesshoumaru noticed that a rider was entering the castle perimeters. He didn't have any garments that identified him as from any of the other three kingdoms; in fact, he had none Sesshoumaru knew of.  
  
Jaken had just arrived from doing some errands that Sesshoumaru had ordered him, when Rin went running to the small toad. "Jaken-san, a man on a horse is going to come through the castle gates! Should Rin go tell--?"  
  
"I know. I will receive him." Sesshoumaru had just appeared behind Jaken. His gaze remained icy cold as usual. "Go inside Rin. You too Jaken."  
  
As he said the commands, both the girl and the ugly toad demon went inside. It took the rider several minutes to arrive at the castle doors. Rin and Jaken were spying through the curtains of a window by the huge wooden doors they had just entered. The rider was a middle-sized man. He had slick, velvet black hair, accompanied by a skinny mustache. He wore strange purple robes, with a golden seal on the chest. With some trouble, he jumped off the horse and walked towards Sesshoumaru.  
  
"I bring a message to Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands, to ask of a human girl called Rin, of whom is said to be living in this castle." The messenger said to Sesshoumaru quite flatly. Sesshoumaru thought about what he was going to say for a few seconds, then finally spoke.  
  
"She is here. Now, answer me this, how do you know of Rin and why do you ask of her?"  
  
"I was sent here by her Aunt and Uncle, Master Hikaru and Madame Kaneda Mongetuu, her only living relatives. They sent me here to tell you that they are one week's travel away from here, and they will come here to take the child to live with her real family." Sesshoumaru was merely processing these words in his head when Rin came out the doors instantly.  
  
"I don't want to go! I want to stay with Sesshoumaru-sama forever!" A teary- eyed Rin breathed heavily. Her little hands were clenched in fists softly shaking. She rarely spoke in 1rst person. Sesshoumaru could only think of the word 'forever.' '_She wishes to stay with me forever? Rin...'_ Still, no emotion ran escaped through his face.  
  
"Oh! The little miss is here! I come here to inform you that your Aunt and Uncle have sent for you and will be arriving very soon. They will accommodate you to a life of riches, where you will not need to ever lift a finger for anything." The messenger turned towards Rin, speaking in a flat tone, seemingly ignoring the sings of her own will flooding her eyes. At this point Sesshoumaru seemed to be in another world entirely, like a trance, looking into the nothingness of distance.  
  
"But I already told you! I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!" She snapped back at him, while giving him a defiant look. The messenger halted at her little voice's sudden high note. Annoyed at her voice and his inability to talk the girl into her aunt and uncle's wishes, turned to Sesshoumaru.  
  
Sesshoumaru was completely absent of the little situation in the time being, drowning in his thoughts of a life without Rin. _'My Rin... How should I live a life without the noise she makes, the trouble she causes... the flowers she brings me...?_' Then, regaining his composure, an ignorant and harsh conclusion was brought up. '_Exactly as I lived before her._' Even in his most intimate and deep thoughts, no trace of emotion was on his face. His amber stare was as indifferent and as cold as ever. His sight finally left the distance of his thoughts, when he noticed the messenger to be annoyed with Rin, with the corner of his eye.  
  
"Lord Sesshoumaru, Master and Madame Mongetuu will be arriving in a week's time, and they will expect the little miss to be ready." Sesshoumaru's reasoning side took over completely, and he just silently nodded. When he turned to leave, Rin hid behind Sesshoumaru's legs and blew a raspberry at him, as if the meaningless gesture would scare him. The messenger heard Rin and slightly halted, once again annoyed by Rin, but got quickly on his horse and galloped away to wherever he had come from.  
  
"Sesshoumaru-sama won't leave Rin, right?" the little girl innocently asked, back to her old self. Sesshoumaru didn't respond, not looking at her, but still watched her from the corner of his eye, and walked inside.  
  
  
  
Almost a week's time had passed since the messenger had come to the castle with news of Rin's last relatives. Sesshoumaru had finally achieved sleep in his bed, after a long time of reminiscing about Rin's leave.  
  
{{{An image of Rin strolling freely through the forest. The wolf demon's vicious red eyes, lusting for blood. SESSHOUMARU-SAMA, HELP ME!!!! Help me!!! The wolf's bodies spraying blood. Her pale face, shedding tears. Their embrace. Her weeping. His kiss. Her arms around his waist. His fear. }}}  
  
Sesshoumaru opened his eyes, sitting up, panting hard; his sight flying around the room searching for any signs of danger. His room was covered by a soft veil of darkness, only interrupted by the piercing moonlight from the balcony, which had a grand view to the castle grounds. The balcony's frame with the room had sliding doors that consisted of bamboo frames and a very delicate rice paper, almost see-through. Inside the room was a shelve in which were his most valuable and precious books accompanied by a mini study. Also a curtain made of a soft material that led to his walk-in closet, were he kept all of his clothing. And of course, his bed.  
  
'_It... It was only... a dream. There is no real danger, Sesshoumaru. Calm yourself down. She is safe._' Yet, this same dream had troubled him every night after the messenger's passing. He was worried about her. Her well- being. Her life. He felt that if he left Rin unprotected, she surely would face countless dangers. '_Deadly dangers. I... Must protect her. But... she is leaving so soon, I can't possibly teach her anything to defend herself with._' For some time the idea was debated in his mind, when the solution came to mind. '_It is the only way.'  
_  
As if on cue, a soft knock sounded at his bedroom door. "Se—Sesshoumaru- sama?" a soft voice asked timidly. Her presence shocked him somewhat. He frankly did not expect her to come to his room. Much less just after that dream.  
  
The response came smoothly. "Come in, Rin." Rin's small and delicate frame snuck past the door and stood in front of the bed, waiting for him to tell her if she should move or stay.  
  
"..." Rin quickly examined her master, who was sitting on his bed. The moonlight accented his features, his skin tone looked glorious under it. His silver hair flowed gently from his face, to his shoulders and waist, finally to the bed. His bed had four pillars, one at each corner, made of fine wood, decorated with small hints of gold details. The sheets of the bed and pillows were white, the color contrasting with his skin. Finally, the amber in his eyes glowed in the darkness with an intensity like no other. Rin felt a sudden rush of heat to her cheeks at the magnificent sight.  
  
"Come here by my side Rin." Sesshoumaru calmly said, stretching his hand to her.  
  
"H—Hai..." She climbed on the bed and positioned herself by her master's left side.  
  
Sesshoumaru grabbed her hair and gently set it to her left shoulder. "Rin, did you want to tell me something?" "Umm, yes. I-- I've been... having nightmares... about the time when the wolves attacked me..." '_She is not speaking in third person... Wait! Did she say that she had been having nightmares of the wolves attack?! Hmmm, the same as mine... What is the meaning of this...?'_  
  
But he paid no further attention to his thoughts as Rin kept speaking.  
  
"... I'm scared. Sesshoumaru-sama, please... don't leave me!!" saying the last words a tear fell down her cheek, and without thinking it twice, she embraced him, just as she had done when the wolves had attacked. She sunk her face in his chest, feeling the warmth of his flesh against her face. She cried a bit more, her tears dampening his skin. For a moment, all she could think about was the feeling of Sesshoumaru with her.  
  
Realizing what she had done, she was about to pull back and apologize, when he returned the embrace, saying, "There, there, everything is all right." He rocked her back and forth by instinct, feeling Rin a little more calm, and then stopped and released her; remembering what he had to do. Amber eyes stared silently at brown orbs.  
  
"Sesshoumaru-sama?" She asked in a soft voice. His face wasn't to clear to her. "Rin, tonight I will give you something that will protect you always." His reply came, as he turned her around, and he faced her back. Having already set aside the hair, he pulled the cloth of her collar down a little, so her right shoulder was revealed.  
  
Feeling Sesshoumaru's touch on her skin, Rin jumped slightly. "This will hurt you, but the pain will go away quickly."  
  
Immediately, Rin felt a sharp pain on the back of her right shoulder, but since Sesshoumaru had warned her, she managed not to shriek. She could feel her warm blood pouring from her wound.  
  
When the pain went away, she turned. Rin saw Sesshoumaru making a cut into the palm of his left hand, blood coming out instantly. (Since Inu yasha had left the feudal era, and thanks to his own strength, the arm grew back.) Sesshoumaru's face showed no signs of pain or weakness from this. He turned Rin once again to face her back, and pressed his left hand onto her right shoulder. When Sesshoumaru applied the pressure, jolts were sent from her shoulder throughout her veins. As soon as his hand left her shoulder, the pain flew away from her body.  
  
"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin turned to face Sesshoumaru, who looked at her back into her brown eyes.  
  
"Rin, what I just did to you was not mere pain. I gave you of my own blood." He showed her his bleeding hand. Rin's eyes widened. "The mark I did on you shoulder is the same as the one on my forehead." Sesshoumaru pointed at the crescent moon on his forehead and Rin silently nodded.  
  
"Now, no matter where I am, I will always be with you."  
  
A small smile touched Sesshoumaru's lips. It was small, but it was a genuine smile. This was the first time that she had seen her master express an emotion of that kind to her. A mix of the effect of the previous words and her master's shy display of emotions left Rin overflowing with joy.  
  
"Domo arigato gozaimazu, Sesshoumaru-sama!!" Looking down, Rin noticed that Sesshoumaru's hand was still bleeding, and quickly bandaged it for him. The smile on his face grew a teensy bit wider while Rin bandaged his hand.  
  
Rin carefully grabbed the un-bandaged hand with both of her own, feeling the warmth of his touch once again.  
  
"Aishiteru, Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin said, not able to regain her composure, and she quickly ran out the door of the room, leaving the glorified youkai by himself.  
  
Sesshoumaru watched stunned as she flustered out of his room. He did not expect this from her. '_What...? She just said...she... Rin...'_ replaying the moment back and forth in his head, another thought came to his mind. '_She mustn't understand the true meaning of the phrase... Hell, even I don't understand it's true meaning! .........But now, she is forever mine._' Then he was suddenly reminded of her nearby departure.  
  
_"Now, no matter where I am, I will always be with you."  
_  
The same genuine smile that touched Sesshoumaru's lips was traced on them now, but with a hint of pure sadness in his amber eyes.  
  
**_End of Chapter Three_  
  
A/N: kumi: whew! Sesshoumaru's so hoooooot!!!!!! XX  
  
sesshy: I'm right by you, ya know...  
  
kumi: ehhh?! o... oro, oro...  
  
rin: on behalf of the crazy, obsessive compulsive otaku... review!!!**


	4. The Dreaded Day

**Disclaimer: I do love Sesshoumaru, think he is delicious, and want to marry him; but I most certainly don't own him, or any Inu yasha character. Rumiko Takahashi was the genius that gave them life and still owns them.  
  
A/N: Because some (insert all kind of insults here) person made ff.net be fag, they erased my fic and account. So I post it again. Without chapter ten, the lemon. Yes, cry all you want, but it wont come back. Well at least not here. I let u know were will it be later on. The chapters are exactly the same, without the thank you because they would not make sense. (I am on the verge on killing my monitor, so be kind with me.)  
  
that was depressing,... Now what you came here for**...  
  
_The Dreaded Day_  
  
The next morning, sunlight entered through the windows, invading her room. Rin opened her eyes lazily. Sitting up, she stretched her tiny arms. She looked around the room, but felt like sleeping a while longer, and grasped the sheet that was covering her. Her sheets were of a pale blue, and her pillows were royal blue with golden hem. '_Golden, kind of like the amber of his gaze. His amber eyes... Last night..._' Rin gasped. Recalling the previous night's events, she touched her right shoulder. It was sore, but it didn't hurt. At the same time she blushed fiercely, remembering Sesshoumaru's appearance. His face, his hair, his skin... '_Just like an_ _angel._' Rin laughed sheepishly at this thought. But then she became more serious, thinking of what he told her.  
  
_"Now, no matter where I am, I will always be with you."_ Rin couldn't help but blush scarlet red again.  
  
Jaken abruptly opened the door. The green toad panted, exasperated. "Miss Rin! How much longer do you plan to sleep?! Your aunt and uncle are here to take you to leave with them!! Hurry!" With that, Jaken bolted out of the room, as he had entered, to attend other chores that had to be done.  
  
The words were very hard for Rin to digest. '_Rin's aunt and uncle to take Rin away... from Sesshoumaru-sama?! No...! It can't be..._' She felt a knot form in her throat and her stomach revolted, as her heart sank into it. The only live remains of her family had come for her. She never thought that reuniting with her long lost family would be so painful. _'There must be something Rin can do... I know! Sesshoumaru-sama will help me!'_  
  
Rin quickly got up from her bed, and went to her closet. She opened the cerulean curtain that closed it and gasped. It was empty. All of her clothes were gone but a new, bright yellow kimono with dark orange flowers. Apparently, it was bought intentionally for this occasion. She reached for it to feel the fabric. It was rich silk, soft and shiny. The orange flowers were custom made embroidery. This was a very expensive kimono. Seeing that she had no other choice in the matter, she put on the yellow kimono. She looked in a mirror that Sesshoumaru had sent to put in her room, and realized just how beautiful the kimono really was. And it mad her look even more pretty. Rin fixed her hair in a bun, and put a white flower with the yellow center on her left ear. '_Her childish beauty is really breathtaking..._' Sesshoumaru thought to himself, secretly staring at Rin from her window without being noticed. He smiled inwardly at her. '..._she almost looks like a woman right now._' Even though he felt guilty for it, Sesshoumaru still gazed a little longer, admiring only her beauty. However his concentration was shattered when Jaken knocked loudly on the door, and without waiting for an answer, he opened the door abruptly, yet again. '_Stupid toad!! Always interrupting when less needed!!'_ The youkai lord cursed silently at the smaller youkai in the room.  
  
"Miss Rin, as you may have already noticed, your room has been emptied of your possessions. Your entire luggage is already in your uncle's carriage. And, also, your Aunt has requested your presence at breakfast." Jaken said, with a slightly sad tone to his voice. This was due to Rin's subsequent absence, and whether he admitted it or not, he was going to really miss her. Seeing her in the yellow kimono his master had bought, he paused for a second, "Rin-chan, you look very pretty today." "Thank you, Jaken." then he strolled out of the room. Rin, after taking a quick glance in the mirror, followed Jaken. "Jaken, where is Sesshoumaru–sama?" Rin's voice could be heard asking the toad the question.  
  
Sesshoumaru, slightly alerted, instantly rushed by the outside of the castle to his room's balcony, were he was last seen. Stepping on the balcony's floor he noticed that he could see the road from where the carriage had emerged this morning. It was a large; the passenger's cabin was big enough to fit in at least a dozen bodies. On the outside, deep violet curtains, with golden embroidery, very much similar to the messenger's clothes, decorated it. The structure was made of hard dark brown wood. Pulling it were horses, huge black males, from the looks of it. Leather ropes straddled them, held by a skinny man dressed in a violet similar to the carriage's curtains. He whipped the animals constantly as they advanced through a steep hill. Something about that skinny man disgusted Sesshoumaru, perhaps the way he has treating the poor horses, which had no fault of the mass of the carriage they pulled.  
  
Meanwhile, Rin walked down the hall following Jaken to breakfast table. When she had asked before for the Lord's location, irritated, Jaken had answered flatly, as if he had had a violent mood swing, "Right now you do not need to know. You will attend a late breakfast with your relatives. And mind your childish manners girl, these kind of people expect you to behave like a lady." '_So rude all of the sudden! Ugh, must be a youkai thing!'_ Rin was going to protest, but they had just arrived at the breakfast table. Her aunt and uncle were the only ones there, but they still use a table that could welcome about 20 guests, food and all. The chandeliers were recently polished; new candles had been put on them, violet. The breakfast banquet before her was unlike any other she had had. This was the way her aunt and Uncle were accustomed to eat. About 10 plates of different contents lay on the table's surface. Almost never a banquet like this was prepared in the castle, only for highly important guests. Apparently, her aunt and uncle had ordered for the breakfast laid out in such fashion.  
  
Her uncle sat on one end of the table. He was a middle-aged man; he had gray hair with a bald spot on the top of his head. His kimono was amethyst, with pale golden embroidery at the hems. On the kimono, he had a sort of vest that was violet, with more golden embroidery. It seemed that everything they owned, they decorated according to these two colors, a combination that after a while would get anyone bored to death. To his left was her aunt, also a middle-aged woman; she looked young for her age, but not that young. To Rin's surprise she wasn't wearing violet or any tone of it. She was wearing deep green. But then again, there was the golden embroidery. Her kimono was very modest, without too much décor. Also, she wore a golden necklace, from were a big emerald hung. Her hair was black, held in various twists; imitating an ancient empress' hairstyle. Rin sat on the opposing end of the table. "Good morning Rin, I am you aunt," The woman sweetly said, "Madame Kaneda Mongetuu of Tenga-riaru, a region from the Eastern lands. You may address me as Aunt Kaneda.".  
  
"Good morning, A—Aunt Kaneda." Rin politely replied. Then she directed herself at the man beside her. "Good morning, urm..." "I am Master Hikaru Mongetuu, you may address me as uncle Hikaru, and good morning to you too." Hikaru warmly replied.  
  
Rin silently nodded and started to eat her breakfast. "Oh, Rin! We are so happy to have finally found you." Kaneda said, after a little while of awkwardness. "Since we heard that you had become an orphan, we began our search for you. We searched the entire Eastern, Northern, and Southern Lands, but we had never thought of you residing in the Western lands, much less living within it's feared lord's castle." Rin responded with an obliged, insincere smile, rarely seen by the servants. Who, in return, stared at her unusually, because she always seemed to be so happy and careless. But the pair sitting at the other end of the table did not know Rin's open, springy personality to be able to tell.  
  
Kaneda was commenting something about the castle grounds, which Rin didn't cope to hear, because she got completely lost in her thoughts. She observed how full of luxuries their lives were without any real happiness, so very unlike what she had here with Sesshoumaru. Here she could roam free as a bird, nobody scolding her, except occasionally Jaken, who loved to tease her. But now, she will have to always be minding what other people might be thinking of her, because she didn't act very 'ladylike.' She had always hated to do so. "... Oh, Rin, I'm so glad that you will come to live with us now, and learn to live 'like royalty.' " Kaneda finished babbling, while Hikaru served himself something yellow and white from a nearby plate. Rin, not being able to stand the 'small talk,' decided to leave.  
  
Rin stood up. "Excuse me, Aunt Kaneda, Uncle Hikaru. I'm not feeling very well." Rin wiped her mouth with a cloth, and left the table without waiting for a response. The two at the table looked at each other in doubt, and then resumed eating whatever was left on their plates.  
  
'_I can't possibly be expected to live like that! No... not without Sesshoumaru by my side. Where are you Sesshoumaru...?_' The idea of being separated from him, which had always been impossible in her mind, now was quickly becoming cruel reality. She couldn't and wouldn't bare it. The corners of Rin's eyes were filled with suppressed tears, as she walked towards Sesshoumaru's room. '_Oh, Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin doesn't want to leave, all Rin wants to do is stay here with you..._' Secretly, when she wasn't feeling very well, she liked to visit his room, and sometimes head for his balcony. She had always felt safe there, in his quarters, where his presence roamed. Why there and not in her own room? Not even she knew, but she liked being alone in Sesshoumaru's room. Or so she thought, because Sesshoumaru eavesdropped on her most of the time, without disturbing her peace.  
  
Rin opened the heavy door that led to Sesshoumaru's room and closed it behind her, thinking nobody else was in the room. Rin snuck through the room, careful not to make any noise, heading for the rice paper doors of the balcony. She opened them slightly, slipping through the opening. When she turned around she gasped, surprised.  
  
Sesshoumaru was standing there, staring at her. His glare as indifferent as ever. She had been 'caught red-handed.' Whatever she said went out stammered, "Se—Se—Sesshoumaru-sama! I d--didn't mean to... urm... " Inside his head, he chuckled. "Don't worry Rin." Rin could only stare at Sesshoumaru's amber pools, which stared back at her unemotionally.  
  
Sesshoumaru, avoiding the urge to show emotion, turned to admire the balcony's amazing view. Rin's thoughts went back to the breakfast table. '_Rin must ask him. Or else_.' "Sess..." Rin barely whispered, cowering at the last moment. "Did you want to tell me something Rin?" His questioning gaze was once again over her. "Hai... R—Rin doesn't want to go! Rin wants to stay with Sesshoumaru-sama!!" Then time froze.  
  
Sesshoumaru's mind processed thoughts at lightning speed. '_She said last night she loved me. As a fatherly figure, I'm completely sure of it. If she stays, she will eventually outgrow me, and consequently leave my side._' That was what troubled him the most. He couldn't bare the thought of losing her to another, it would crush him. '_Besides, she will do better amongst her own kind._' The thought (A/N: stupid as we all know) seemed perfectly coherent to Sesshoumaru. Yet it hurt him so much, to recognize he was going to lose Rin.  
  
Rin stared at his face waiting for a response to her brief confession, but none came from his face, as usual. Then, without any warning, it came from his unforgiving voice.  
  
"It is for your best interest." Sesshoumaru said coldly, and turned his look away from her.  
  
Rin felt a sharp pain in the depth of her very soul. She knew exactly what the words meant. Her being became filled with misery, and her eyes clouded. '_No... he wants me to leave? Why...?_' Taking a step back, she started quivering; her mind filled with the infinite despair her master had seeded on her. She had a look of fear imprinted on her face. Sesshoumaru's gaze, fixed upon Rin once again, worryingly watched the rush of heartbreaking feelings her face revealed. Her questions left unanswered, she ran out of the room.  
  
Sesshoumaru put his hand to his head. '_What have I done?_' Sighing, his gaze tortured by the girl's display, he stood there alone.  
  
  
  
The last time Sesshoumaru saw Rin was when she was already inside in the violet carriage pulled by the black horses, leaving the castle grounds. Rin was looking out the window to the castle, when she saw Sesshoumaru's grand frame on his room's balcony. From the carriage he appeared to simply be standing there, staring at oblivion. Rin felt her eyes cloud once again as she looked at him, knowing that this was the last time she would see him. Jaken was there too, standing faithfully by his side. She remembered the way Sesshoumaru looked in the moonlight, the image having burnt into her mind and soul to forever haunt her. Then, how he had smiled at her for the very first time. Rin let the tears flow wildly through her cheeks, as she could not hold them in any longer, pain and anguish searing her existence. Sesshoumaru saw her from the balcony inside the carriage, shedding tears. Kami, how that hurt him! He knew it was his fault and his fault only. Sighing, he tried to recover his composure inwardly. Still, he failed at the task, since his intense emotions rose anyway. In the corner of his eye, a small tear formed.  
  
Noticing this, Jaken uneasily interrupted his mourning, "Lord Sesshouma—" But his lord cut off Jaken abruptly, "Just shut up Jaken." Sesshoumaru motioned the toad to get out of his sight with a quick hand movement.  
  
Looking back at the departuring carriage, Sesshoumaru thought, _'She will not be back again by tomorrow as she always does... or EVER. Nothing regarding her should matter to you now. Forget about her. Carry on Sesshoumaru._' His rational thinking was very harsh for his emotional state, but this was the way he always had dealt with this kind of things. He grasped firmly the balcony's stone edge.  
  
Lowering his head, the small tear that was being held back fell from his eye, not being able to control himself.  
  
**_End of Chapter Four_  
  
A/N: Even if u don't think so, this chappie was very hard to write...  
  
kumi: So saaaad... the paaaiiin.... xx (stabs herself, then dies)  
  
sesshy: serves you right! (chuckles, pokes kumi to see if really dead)  
  
rin: you know, you can be so cruel... BOTH of you.  
  
kumi: Anyway, review cuz I'm goin' nuts!**


	5. Mourning in Misery

**Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue. Besides, what would a corporate lawyer do with a spongebob key chain? (I don't own spongebob either.)  
  
A/N: Because some (insert all kind of insults here) person made ff.net be fag, they erased my fic and account. So I post it again. Without chapter ten, the lemon. Yes, cry all you want, but it wont come back. Well at least not here. I let u know were will it be later on. The chapters are exactly the same, without the thank you because they would not make sense. (I am on the verge on killing my monitor, so be kind with me.)  
  
I'm sorry the chapter turned out so short...**  
  
_Mourning in Misery_  
  
Sesshoumaru's P.O.V.  
  
_´I see her exiting from my life as she quietly sobs in the violet carriage. This is certainly the most painful sight of my life. No amount of wounds, scars, battles or agonies compare to this. Not even summed up. The most precious thing in my life is leaving me. Her; that human girl that I found years ago, laying lifeless in the ground. Out of nowhere, I felt a strange tug in my cold heart, and decided to test the sword's power. I slashed the Girl's dead corpse with the tenseiga. When She revived, that spark, which I believed in me many years ago had died, breathed.  
  
She followed me for days, no food, or any kind of attention. At first glance I though She was jus a mere human, pathetic and weak, like all others. But She had an amazing persistence, proving me wrong. The first nights, She was coy and didn't come close, but later on She lost all shyness and came close, even touched me, without any fear at all. She was unlike any human I had met before.  
  
Jaken questioned me various times why were we letting that puny Human follow them. I never gave him, or myself, a clear answer. Why had I kept Her? Why didn't I leave Her behind, as I would have normally done? At first She was just a distraction, but then She became interesting. She did not fear me; Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands, whose name makes even the mightiest men shiver in panic... Feh. A mere little Girl had accomplished what full-grown men would never dream of.  
  
That was the real reason. She did not see me as the fearsome youkai, but simply as the man who had saved her life. Even after learning the truth about me, She was still by mi side. I have never known such loyalty in my entire life and will never see such again. She had become a part of me, the reason for existence. I had become accustomed to those flowers in my room, the main room, the halls, EVERYWERE were those flowers. These reminded me every day that I was would see Her shining smile, which always gave me the strength I needed... She was always so kind to every one, no matter whom. It was like She had an infinite amount of kindness to contaminate everybody with.  
  
How could I have let Her slip through my hands? How could I?!... Of course. I have only inspired a father figure to Her, for I was supposed to be Her example, Feh! What an example I was... Even if I tried, I will never make a good father. Not without Her by mi side anyway. But, what right do I have over Her to claim Her as my woman?! It would only ruin Her life. She will fare better under the care of her own kind. She will be happy with them, because She deserves it more than anyone in this world... The same way that I let Her in this castle, and made me happy, I let Her go, so She can have happiness for Herself. I let her go...  
  
HER...  
  
My sweet Rin...  
  
... what fool I am.'  
_  
Rin's P.O.V  
  
_'As the carriage moves ahead, Sesshoumaru-sama becomes smaller and smaller. And I get farther and farther away from him. I wish I could stay...  
  
But Sesshoumaru-sama was the one that didn't want me to stay, so I just can't. All because I am a stupid human!! Sesshoumaru-sama always took care of me... When I was scared, he would always protect me. But I can't protect him back!! I'm so useless!!  
  
Sesshoumaru is so beautiful... His long, silver hair, flowing with the wind; his hands, always so strong, around me... Sesshoumaru-sama always smells so nice... And his eyes... those beautiful amber eyes... I wish I could hug him forever... he always makes me feel so good, no matter what. I wish he just could love me in return. ...But he won't, I am a human, and he is a youkai. That's all.  
  
Besides, he only sees me as his 'little' Rin! He will never know that I really love him! That's why I said... I said... Aishiteru... Aishiteru, Sesshoumaru-sama!!! Why can't he see that...?  
  
Oh, ...right. I'm not a youkai. Sesshoumaru-sama wants to have youkai puppies... his puppies... I wish I could have his puppies, but I can't. If I have his puppies, they would be hanyou puppies... And I'm not going to stop Sesshoumaru-sama from fulfilling his dream!! I would be so selfish of me...  
  
NO!!! Stop Rin!! I will go with my family and let Sesshoumaru-sama have his own, even if its not with me... Just the though of Sesshoumaru-sama being with another... UGH!!! But I have to stay strong! If I go back, Sesshoumaru- sama will never have his youkai puppies! And I can't let that happen, now can't I? I'll just be nice little Rin and behave myself with my new family. ...But I will never see Sesshoumaru-sama ever again...'  
  
_Normal P.O.V.  
  
All the memories of her with Sesshoumaru rolled like an old movie through her mind, and tears began to cloud Rin's already red eyes. The fact that she would never see Sesshoumaru ever again was a hard thought to digest. It made her feel like falling in an endless pit of pain, never reaching the bottom. More and more tears followed the previously shed ones as the strange carriage left the castle grounds, as fast as it came. Sesshoumaru watched silently, not moving an inch for hours to come.  
  
  
  
Within the next weeks after Rin had left, All had changed in the castle. With Rin, left the high spirits, the laughter, the noise, the sweet flower scent all around. The castle had become once again a lifeless place, only stirred up by the lord's anger and frustration.  
  
Jaken stood in front of the door of the master bedroom carrying a tray with Sesshoumaru's dinner, his hands shaking. Sesshoumaru had last eaten almost three weeks ago, some days after the girl left. Jaken was the one who had to make sure Sesshoumaru ate, because no one dared to do so, and it was his duty as a loyal vassal. That was what Rin would have done anyway. Jaken treasured greatly his memories of Rin; since after she had left all had been constant chaos. Even though Sesshoumaru didn't need it to do so as much as humans, he still had to eat. Jaken knocked the door, panicked. After waiting a while, the Lord still had not answered, and the small toad found himself forced to knock again.  
  
Jaken raised his hand once again, but just when he was about to knock, Sesshoumaru's voice thundered from inside the wide door. "Come in."  
  
Jaken pushed the door, revealing the condition of the bedroom inside. The once immaculate room caressed by the moonlight was a complete and absolute disaster. The bamboo-framed rice paper doors were torn, one had a punched hole in it and was a total ruin, and the other door was missing altogether; some old dirty drapes blocked the sunlight from trespassing into the dark retreat. His mini study was completely worn to shreds, some of the books scattered through the room or incomplete by destruction. Claws now ripped the once soft curtain that marked his closet. His once majestic bed had now lost its entire luster, the wood's gloss and the golden droplets that decorated the pillars were now faded, in its place rested now and old, worn out bed. The sheets and pillows that were once white had been managed to be changed some times, but the color that remained was pitch black. Sesshoumaru sat beside the bed, still in his nightgown, also black. His silver hair was darkened under the shadows of the gloomy bedroom.  
  
"Se—Sesshoumaru-sama... y—y—your lunch is ready." Jaken's voice trembled at the terrorizing picture.  
  
"Leave it by the door." Sesshoumaru's voice was hoarse. He did not even bother to look at his servant.  
  
"P—Please Master, eat your food, you are risking your health," Jaken said, gaining up his courage. Then, he uttered to himself, loud enough for the youkai lord to hear, "Miss Rin would not have wanted you so..." Jaken wanted to manipulate his master into reason, but he did not see Sesshoumaru's brutal reaction coming.  
  
When Sesshoumaru heard his beloved's name pronounced, his senses jolted, petrifying the small toad. Although Sesshoumaru did not move, his response was dauntingly enough to make any creature tremble. Sesshoumaru tuned his head, his gaze fixed on Jaken. Streaks of his silver mane shone in the darkness as his eyes turned bloody red. He was enraged, a dark crimson aura being emitted from his body.  
  
"None of you, insignificant servants, shall ever speak her name! You are all unworthy of it's purity!! Now, Jaken, get out of my sight before I RIP YOU TO SHREDS!" Sesshoumaru barked at the greenish toad that instantly fled from the dim room.  
  
  
  
6 months had passed since the girl's leave, when the toad youkai, Jaken, fell deathly ill. Sesshoumaru never leaved his gloomy retreat, not even to attend to the toad's funeral, which had been his loyal servant and vassal for so many years. Realizing how devastated the castle itself had been, self pity began to form part of his newly found emotions, if they could be called that way. Desperation was overcoming him.  
  
Sesshoumaru's face, even hidden in the obscurity of the room, could not hide the small tears that were being shed. Without any doubt, the youkai lord was a complete wreck without the little girl that had kept his existence balanced.  
  
After that dreadful day, Sesshoumaru began rebuilding the barrier that Rin had merely begun to knock down.  
  
_ **End of Chapter Five  
**_  
**A/N: kumi: do not worry, my loyal readers, the story will eventually be less goomy. And, I know; sesshoumaru-sama IS miserable!!! And I will contiue to-- BANG (Sesshoumaru throws her a bucket of clams in the head, "Oh, SHUT UP!")  
  
JUST REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	6. The Outcast pt1

**Disclaimer: If I was blessed, I would own Sesshoumaru, but I don't. Does God hate me so?  
  
A/N: Because some (insert all kind of insults here) person made ff.net be fag, they erased my fic and account. So I post it again. Without chapter ten, the lemon. Yes, cry all you want, but it wont come back. Well at least not here. I let u know were will it be later on. The chapters are exactly the same, without the thank you because they would not make sense. (I am on the verge on killing my monitor, so be kind with me.)  
  
On with the story...**  
  
_The outcast, Pt. one  
_  
After having cried for almost two hours, Rin fell into a slight slumber. {{{Sesshoumaru's majestic frame, shrinking in the distance. Sesshoumaru's indifferent eyes in the balcony. Sesshoumaru's silver hair shining in the moonlight. Sesshoumaru's warm embrace, tainted by her bleeding shoulder. Oh, Kami-sama, it feels so good...}}} All of the sudden, a violent movement shook her out of her cozy dream. Rin felt a throbbing pain on her head, and then she opened her eyes. All she saw was a violet fabric. Then Rin removed it from herself; to reveal a very messy scene. Everything was out of place, thrown elsewhere. She was laying in one of the carriage's walls, like gravity had failed or something. On one carriage window she could see the tip of some trees and the sky. On the other, there was ground. Then it hit her. The carriage had crashed or something and had flipped. Rin checked her head for any injury from were the pain was, but she didn't found any. '_I just hit my head very hard..._' Rin looked around, and realized she was the only one inside. When she was about to go out and start looking for the others, Rin heard some hearty laughter and then sobs, apparently coming from Kaneda. Rin managed to find a hole to peep through in the carriage's floor.  
  
"Please, have mercy!!" Kaneda said, between choked sobs. A gruff looking man was holding her hostage.  
  
Some other men were surrounding the scene, there were about thirteen. They were all grinning and laughing, some had weapons and come didn't. Apparently they were a bandit gang and the carriage and everyone in it were their victims. The man that was handling Kaneda was apparently hurting her, as she was cringing from the pain. Kaneda's image wasn't very pretty; her emerald green dress was torn and the necklace she was wearing was gone. Her mouth was bleeding from several smacks, her arms and legs were bruised from the beatings she was taking, and she was crying. Who wouldn't? Hikaru was being beaten to death by some bandits, they were kicking him everywhere, and he was bleeding badly. Hikaru squirmed in pain as the bandits laughed. The gang's leader, a tall, dangerous man, with flowing gray hair, came forth.  
  
"Yeah, right!" the man pulled a sword from his waist, pointing it at Hikaru. Kaneda understood was he was going to do, and tried to free herself from the man's tight grip. "Please don't kill him!! Just take me instead!!" The leader turned his eyes for a moment to look at Kaneda, who was shaking in fear. Then he proceeded to decapitate the squirming man. Rin watched in horror as her uncle's head rolled through the ground. Kaneda turned pale; she was being tortured to watch her husband die a most horrible death.  
  
"W—Why?" Kaneda managed to say in a whisper, her whole body shaking. The leader gave her a threatening stare and said, "I don't have pity for rich pigs like you," And then, rapidly, he took the bloody blade and put it against Kaneda's neck. "Or filthy whores." He waited a second just to see her reaction, then sliced her neck open, spraying blood. Her face had terror written all over it. The man holding Kaneda's dead body didn't even flinch. The leader licked the bloody blade and put it once again in its sheath. "Let's go! We can't afford to waste anymore time here! Grab whatever riches you found, we're out of here." The bandits started to leave.  
  
Rin was petrified at what she had just witnessed, she was still peeping through the hole. She was looking at the two dead bodies that had been the remains of her family. '_I... am alone... again_.' Some tears clouded her eyes. '_And this time, I won't find Sesshoumaru-sama...'_ The crystalline tears rolled down her cheeks as she sobbed quietly. Then, she raised her head and wiped the tears from her face. '_But I won't let that stop me. I'll go to a village. I'll begin a new life there, were nobody knows anything about me._' From the once carefree and innocent soul, was born one that was completely the opposite, she now would hide her feelings from everyone, and her face was always absent of any emotion. Very much like her lord Sesshoumaru.  
  
  
  
After the carriage's incident a very strange Rin arrived in a village. To Rin's astonishment, an old lady recognized her. The old lady was small; her back arched by the years. Her hair was white as snow and her hands were little with her veins were emphasized. She had a brown package that was almost too big for her. When she came up to Rin, the old lady admired her features.  
  
"Ah... I knew it was you." The old lady smiled.  
  
"Uhh... what do you mean? We've never seen each other." Rin was utterly caught off guard, but it didn't get the best of her. She seemed completely calm.  
  
"But I've seen that kimono. I made it for a little girl that was under the care of Sesshoumaru-sama. I can easily guess that you are the girl." The old lady examined Rin once again. "You really do fill that kimono! It looks beautiful on you." She smiled once again. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot to introduce myself! I am Haneto, a tailor. I specialize in kimonos, and I can surely say, the best at it in town!" The smile was still in Haneto's lips.  
  
"Uh... my name—" Rin was cut short by the Haneto's voice.  
  
"Rin, I know. Sesshoumaru has told me about you. He has been one of my best customers for years. Some days ago, he ordered that kimono," Haneto gestured at Rin's yellow kimono, "telling me that he needed it done by the next day, and that it would be the last one he would order from me."  
  
Rin's mind flooded with the memories from the youkai lord, but pushed them away. Her eyes let out a subtle hint of sadness.  
  
"Don't worry, dear. He won't forget about you." Haneto turned around to head for her house. "Come with me child, I'll let you live with me and my husband. We have adopted two little girls, which I trust you'll like." Haneto kept walking.  
  
"What—How did you...?" Rin's surprise at the old lady's wisdom left her speechless. Catching up wither she asked, "How do you know that I'm thinking about him?" Haneto stopped and smiled.  
  
"I could always tell what he was thinking just by looking at his eyes. I am one of the few people that can do so." Haneto started walking again.  
  
"..." Rin walked followed behind her silently. "Thank you." Rin never said anything about the bloody death of her aunt and uncle, she decided they were part of her past now, and that she knew mustn't wander of the past if she wanted to move on.  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
  
  
The old lady and the girl walked home to a small, but very cozy house. Haneto's husband, Kosene, was a very humble man. His features were very similar to Haneto's but in a male version. Also, he was a bit grumpier than Haneto, but Kosene was always nice to Rin. Their adoptive daughters were named Beneri and Cinna. Beneri was the older one; she had twelve years, always being followed by Cinna, who was seven years old. Beneri had light brown curly hair. Here eyes were lime green, and her clothing was always very subtle. She was always very polite and shy towards people. Cinna was her opposite. She had bright red hair; her eyes were a strong shade of pink. Freckles slightly decorated her cheeks, right under her eyes. She always imitated Beneri, but when she disagreed Beneri on with something, which was almost always, Cinna always complained out loud. It was simply in her blood, since their parents had been the troublemakers in town. That is before they died victims of a horrible attack on the village, and since then the sisters had been under the old couple's care. Rin didn't befriend them at first, but eventually opened up a little to them, but still hiding her feelings from the rest of the world.  
  
Rin's thirteenth birthday had passed weeks ago, and Haneto had made her a very beautiful blue kimono. Rin received her gift thankfully, smiling a bit. She went to her room to put it away when a sharp pain stung her in the lower region of her belly, and fell on her knees. Beneri, followed her and helped Rin on her feet again.  
  
"Are you okay Rin? What happened?" Beneri asked.  
  
Rin grasped strongly the cloth that made her kimono. "I'm all right. I just got a sharp pain in my belly..." Rin gasped as she felt a warm liquid flowed down her inner thigh.  
  
"Umm... there's something going down my thigh..." Beneri helped Rin sit down on the floor, while Rin checked between her legs. "Oh no! I'm dying!!" Rin gasped as she saw that the liquid felt was blood.  
  
"Don't worry Rin, you're not dying! You just got your monthly. It's a normal happening in every girl's life." Beneri said, smiling.  
  
"Have you gotten your monthly Beneri?"  
  
"Oh, yes I got it almost a year ago. At first I was scared, but Haneto-sama helped me through. I'll tell her to help you too! Don't worry Rin-chan, we're here to help you!" Beneri's counseling made Rin feel somewhat better but the nauseous feeling was still there. Rin nodded in agreement and relief. "Now, let's go and have dinner, Kosene-chan and Haneto-chan are waiting." Rin got up and started walking, followed closely by Beneri, in case something happened to Rin.  
  
Dinner was pleasant, except for an odd pain in the inside of her cheeks. Rin kept chewing her food, but the pain did not leave. When a few bites remained on her plate, she started to feel uneasy about that pain and decided to hurry and eat the remains of her food. But when she started to taste blood, she suddenly stopped eating.  
  
"Gomen-nasai!" Rin quickly said.  
  
She went running to her room, were she had a mirror to look at herself and some water to clean her mouth with. First Rin spat outside her bedroom window the bloody saliva in her mouth. Then, she grabbed a cotton cloth and wiped her mouth clean. When she headed for the mirror, she took slow steps expecting the worst from her reflection. Finally reaching the mirror, Rin looked at her cheeks outside. '_Everything seems fine. What about inside?_' Opening her mouth and seeing the inside, she said out loud, "What the hell...?"  
  
Inside her mouth, larger than usual fangs could be seen. They were discreet, yet evident. "What's wrong with me?"  
  
After worrying about it for a while, Rin, frustrated, went to sleep without saying a word to anybody about her new teeth. She simply wanted to rest without worrying anybody.  
  
'_I'm sure Sesshoumaru-sama would now what's wrong...'_ Rin's trail of thoughts went from her fangs to Sesshoumaru, the youkai who had let her go and caused her so much pain. Ravishing memories of Sesshoumaru invaded Rin's mid, plaguing her with locked-up sadness. Her unshed tears now filled her russet pools, struggling to be freed. Not being able to take it anymore, Rin took her hands to her face and wept in silence. The burned memories of Sesshoumaru still affected her, because she still loved him. '_Why did you let me go?! How could he not see it?! I even told him..._' The image of Sesshoumaru bathed in moonlight had entered her mind. '_There he gave me his mark._' Rin touched her right shoulder and was able to feel the scar that Sesshoumaru had left on her. "Now, no matter where I am, I will always be with you." The flow of Rin's tears became more intense remembering the sweet, yet poisonous words. '_Why can't I be with you...'  
  
_The rest of the week went quite uneventful, except for an occasional fight made by Cinna, who was starting to get on Rin's nerves.  
  
  
  
Rin was 16 now. The little sweet girl who once lived in her body was gone and a new girl had emerged, facing adolescence. Rin had developed well for a girl her age; after the arrival of her monthly, all of her features became... bigger. Her appearance was more mature. Her breasts had evidently increased; Rin had trouble sometimes adjusting her old kimonos to her chest; her waistline became more obvious, and her hips curvier. The changes in her body were not only noticed by her, but also by the village's bachelors. Young men were always courting Rin into marrying her, but she always refused. Her mind had also matured, and she had decided to persuade the one man who had made her heart ache, '_Sesshoumaru. Some day, I will go back. You have no excuses now._' The thought of returning to him gave her a jolt of joy like non other. That always cheered her up after reminiscing about him. '_Besides, I wouldn't marry any of those men. They only want my body anyway_.' The excuse she always used was that she 'had her sights on another', and they would always say that 'there's no other guy like him,' or that they will 'kill him when they saw him.' But before they could ask who he was, Rin had already left them talking to themselves.  
  
Rin had recently noticed that some purplish spots were shadowing on her wrists. She paid not much attention to them since they were very faint. But after a few weeks had passed, the spots had joined and turned into lines. On each wrist two of them. '_What the...? Oh no... am I sick?_'  
  
When Rin got sick and had a disease, Haneto would cure her later on. But this wasn't it. Rin hadn't felt dizzy, sick or any kind of pain lately. In fact, she hadn't been sick during the last months at all. '_Well... I really don't want to bother anyone, so I'll just cover them with my kimono's sleeve.'  
_  
Two weeks had passed and nobody had noticed anything about her. Except Haneto. One evening, everybody had finished their dinner and was heading to bed. Haneto approached Rin discreetly, and told Rin to follow her into a small orchard they had been working on.  
  
"Rin, tell me what is wrong with you. You seem worried and nervous whenever there are people around you." Haneto's face was wrinkled with worry.  
  
"..." Rin couldn't hide a secret from Haneto for too long, so she surrendered to her needs. "Haneto, I... some strange markings have appeared on my wrists and I... I don't know what they are." Rin chose her words carefully in order not to show any fear. But Haneto could always tell, as she had done w Sesshoumaru.  
  
"Dear, don't be afraid. They will probably away after a while," Haneto took Rin's wrists to see the markings. For a second, Haneto hesitated to answer, thinking. But before Rin could ask, Haneto kept talking. "maybe there was a youkai or hanyou somewhere in your bloodline, who knows? But if that is the case, do not worry. They will not harm you." Haneto's loving gaze loomed over Rin's worried eyes. Smiling a bit Rin let Haneto see her fangs.  
  
"What have we here... Hmm, fangs. Youkai fangs. There is definitely some youkai blood running in your veins..." Rin looked at Haneto a bit relieved, since she disliked being sick all the time. "Rin, anything else you would like to tell me?" Rin motioned a "No" with her head, answering the old lady's question. "Very well then; now, go to bed. Tomorrow is another day."  
  
Rin walked towards her room, deep in though about what just had happened. _'So the stuff that I was developing were youkai traits because of youkai blood...? I wonder which one of my relatives had youkai blood... ahhhh!! But they're all dead! It's no fair! Well, I guess I won't have to worry about the markings or the fangs too much now, since Haneto-chan knows..._' Rin arrived at her room and lay on her bed for a second. She felt a heavy pressure had been released from her chest. Soon Rin fell asleep.  
  
Outside, still in the orchard, Haneto mediated deeply too. ' _What are HIS markings doing on her?! How did she get them...?_' Haneto walked inside to her room to sleep, after a long day.  
  
_ **End of chapter Six**_  
  
**A/N: kumi: what's happening? what's wrong? Why is that happening to her? who's HE?! Find out on the next episode of 'Bring me to Life!' (geeky superhero music plays in background, she marches around freakishly)  
  
sesshy: what is wrong with her? MAKE HER STOOOPP!!  
  
rin: she will only stop if she gets reviewed...  
  
sesshy: for MY sanity's sake, REVIEW!!!**


	7. The Outcast pt2

**Disclaimer: do you see me walking around with a poster that says "I'ts mine???" No you don't!!!! but Takahashi-sama sure can... Why can't she give me Sesshoumaru?!??!  
  
A/N: Because some (insert all kind of insults here) person made ff.net be fag, they erased my fic and account. So I post it again. Without chapter ten, the lemon. Yes, cry all you want, but it wont come back. Well at least not here. I let u know were will it be later on. The chapters are exactly the same, without the thank you because they would not make sense. (I am on the verge on killing my monitor, so be kind with me.)  
  
Ahhhh.... I got about seven writer's blocks during this chapter, PLEASE enjoy...**  
  
_The Outcast pt. Two  
_  
Rin was working on the orchard in the back of her house. She was 18 years old now. The youkai traits she had developed earlier in her adolescence were even more evident. Her fangs were sharper, and the marks on her wrists were of a scarlet red, but she decided not to hide her attributes, but not to show them either. Rin was peacefully planting flowers in some pots Haneto had put out for her. The suitors came from time to time but she always avoided them. Her life was peaceful as it could get. Except for Cinna's brawling, that got worse as the years went by.  
  
Cinna was playing with a sword made out of wood that Kosene had made her. Cinna was wearing a baggy gray kimono that had belonged to her sister years ago, and had been worn out. With Cinna were some kids from their neighborhood, who had different kinds of wooden weapons.  
  
"Come on Micel, do you have what it takes?!" Cinna shouted towards one of the kids.  
  
"Yeah, can you beat us in battle?? I bet you can't!!" another kid shouted, teaming up with Cinna.  
  
"You can't even imagine the beating you are going to get!!" the kid that Cinna had shouted to first replied, with a cocky attitude.  
  
"Let's gooo!!!!" Cinna screeched, as she charged toward the group of opposing kids.  
  
Rin watched silently irritated, remembering how almost every time Cinna would do swordplay with her friends something would end broken in pieces. Rin decided to ignore the energetic children outside the orchard and kept planting the flowers. Rin knew her hard work was paying off when she glanced at all of the flowers in their respective pots. They were like a small army of flowers. '_Haneto and Kosene are going to be so happy when they see how much work is already—_' Rin's thoughts were cut off when she saw a wooden sword bashing into the pots she had so carefully organized. '_Cinna..._'  
  
Cinna and her friends entered the orchard noisily, bringing in the mud and dirt from their playing outside. Cinna, grinning as if nothing had really happened, looked at Rin, who had a blank expression on her face. "I'm sorry Ri—"  
  
"OUT, EVERYBODY OUTSIDE, RIGHT NOW!!!" Rin snarled at Cinna, who was petrified at Rin's appearance. Rin's nails had turned into claws and they were dripping poison. The fangs in her mouth were now completely evident, as she was panting with her mouth open, and they were out in the open. Finally, her eyes were glowing bloody red, and her pupils glowed a golden hue.  
  
Before anything happened Rin realized she had just gone over an edge. Cinna and all of her other friends were staring at her, petrified. Each of their skin tones went from normal to pale the instant she had screamed. Feeling of all the sudden uneasy and nervous, Rin calmed down and went back to normal.  
  
"Rin, what's wrong with you?!" Cinna sort of spitted back at her, but still half scared.  
  
"Gomen-nasai Cinna." Rin hurriedly said as she exited the orchard, running towards the woods.  
  
'_Kami-sama! I can barely control myself!! If this keeps up I might en up hurting someone I really don't need to._' Rin thought as she ran through the forest's thickness. When she arrived at a clearing, she stopped. The clearing had a little spot where wild flowers sprouted. Rin had always loved flowers, because they reminded her of her early days with Sesshoumaru.  
  
Rin took some steps towards the flowers, but soon fell down to her knees, remembering everything she missed from her past. '_Oh Sesshoumaru I miss you so much... I wish I could be with you right now.'  
  
_   
  
Three months before the tenth anniversary of Rin's leave, Sesshoumaru laid sleep in his messy bed, tossing and turning. {{{Sesshoumaru heard Rin's horrible scream. "SESSHOUMARU-SAMA, HELP ME!!!!" Sesshoumaru ran as fast as he could, leapt from tree to tree, and cut everything blocking his way to Rin. "Help me!!!" Sesshoumaru heard Rin's pleading voice once again, and started to run even faster. "HEEEEELLLLPP!!! NOOO--!!!" Sesshoumaru heard Rin's voice one last time. He could literally feel her pain and fear through her screams. Finally, he reached Rin's whereabouts. But he was too late. The spectacle before his amber eyes was too much for him to take. Blood was everywhere. The wolves were on Rin's body, ripping her apart. "Ses..." His name was Rin's last breath. After that, Sesshoumaru could hear Rin's clothes ripping, and her bones snapping by the wolves' merciless bites. Sesshoumaru's anger was unconceivable. In a split second all of the wolves were off Rin's torn body, and shredded on the ground. Sesshoumaru stepped closer to her bloody corpse and fell to his knees. "Rin..." He could feel a hot tear run down his cheek but didn't bother to wipe it off. His whole body was shaking. He could only stare at the horrible picture in front of him. No amount of tenseiga's magic was going to fix her. "RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNN!!!"}}}  
  
Sesshoumaru woke up panting heavily. He brought his hand to his chest; his hands were shaking furiously. When he took his other hand to his face, he noticed that the trails of some tears were left under his eyes. Taking his hand to his temple, he said out loud, "Rin... I miss you so..." Staring sadly at the window's view, his mind was being plagued once again by memories of her, who he had let escape from his grasp; her, the one he came to realize he loved so much. "Rin."  
  
  
  
Three years had passed since Cinna had seen Rin's true nature. Cinna and Rin had never been too close, but since the incident, they always tried to avoid each other. Also, since then, nobody from the town ever came to her for anything whatsoever. The little incident had earned her the fame of an evil monster or something. Not that she cared. Rin preferred to be alone, as much as she possibly could. As the years had passed, Rin always became colder, more absent from the world, withdrawn inside her own. Nobody ever knew what was happening to her, except of course, Haneto.  
  
Haneto was the one person Rin felt she could trust with her problems, because of her past relation to Sesshoumaru. Rin never really had opened to her, but she understood Rin's behavior perfectly. Haneto grew more and more worried of Rin as the years kept passing, but she could do nothing about it, for the only one who could make a difference in the girl's life was herself, or Sesshoumaru of course. Haneto knew how the pain she was feeling for the youkai was draining her of her happiness, for she could only be happy with him. As the years had passed, Haneto had watched the sadness in Rin's eyes growing even worse as each day, week month and year went by. The old woman knew that the pain that Rin was suffering could kill any other person if they were to bare it.  
  
Haneto also watched Rin grow physically during the ten years she had lived with her, for the changes had been drastic. Fangs had grown in her mouth, the markings had appeared on her wrists, and her claws had sharpened. Also, during the recent months, Rin had had some changes. Rin's hair that was once black now had faint silver strakes that flowed down her beautiful mane. Her chocolate eyes had now a thin amber border that somehow brought out even more beauty to her face. Also her fighting skills had become incredibly sharper. Rin, no longer a naïve child, was now a radiant, mature woman.  
  
It had been an incredibly long day and Rin was very tired. Rin had just gotten out of a long, relaxing bath, and was now heading to her bed. Rin arrived at her room and plummeted onto her bed an fell asleep immediately.  
  
{{{A thick pinkish mist that was immposible to see through surrounded Rin. All of the sudden, a woman came out of nowhere.  
  
"Rin, it is I Midoriko. Do you remember me?"  
  
"Umm, yes, I do remember..."  
  
"Rin you must return to him immediately!"  
  
"What? Return to who?!"  
  
"To your lord, Sesshoumaru."  
  
Taken aback by the answer, Rin did not answer immediately. "W... What?" her voice came out soft and weak.  
  
"You must return to Sesshoumaru's side, for he is miserable. See for yourself."  
  
Midoriko opened a portal that showed Rin her former master's state. His room was a complete disaster; everything was torn, broken, and dark. Sesshoumaru had changed his red and white kimono for a completely black one. He had a dark shadow and bags under his eyes from all of the sleep he usually missed. His once vigorous eyes were now opaque and full of sorrow. As Rin watched the image, she took her hands to her mouth in utter amazement.  
  
"You understand now, Rin?"  
  
"W... Why is he like that? Since when he became so..." Rin couldn't describe Sesshoumaru's state.  
  
"Since you left him."  
  
"That is not true!! I did not want to leave him; he was the one who told me that I should leave 'because it was for my best interest!!!' " Rin shouted at the spirit woman in front of her.  
  
"..."  
  
"Still, why do I need to return to Sesshoumaru?" Rin said, her temper lowering, remembering whet returning to Sesshoumaru meant.  
  
"You must retrieve the Shikon no tama from him, for his anger is contaminating the jewel, and it may become evil once again. Something that must not happen."  
  
"That's true... but why me?"  
  
"Because you are the only one with the power to calm Sesshoumaru's terrible temper. And when his anger is dissipated, the Shikon no tama will be free from the corruption his anger brings."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"I believe there is something else I must tell you."  
  
"Huh?" Rin asked, while her eyebrows rose.  
  
"Do you remember the scar Sesshoumaru gave to you?"  
  
"Yes!" Rin answered happily as a reflex, more than a reply.  
  
"That scar is no ordinary scar. When he shared his blood with you, he gave you of his own blood, and you gave him yours."  
  
"..."  
  
"You two now have a special connection now. That is why both of you are so miserable now, you can't stand being away from each other."  
  
"..."  
  
"It also had another effect on you, Rin."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The youkai traits that you have developed are no heritage of your family, as you have believed. They were caused by Sesshoumaru's youkai blood flowing in your own. The youkai blood overcame the human blood in your veins, and now you also have youkai blood. Rin, you are a youkai."  
  
"... I am a youkai?"  
  
"Yes Rin, now, I have told you what you needed to know. You must head out immediately for the western lands."  
  
"Hai, Midoriko-san." Rin answered with newfound confidence, everything that Midoriko had said sinking in her mind.  
  
"Domo Arigato."  
  
"Domo Arigato gozaimazu."}}}  
  
Rin's eyes flew open as she woke up from the startling dream. Faster than she could imagine, she gathered her most important things an wrote a note that read: 'I'm going back to my master.' Rin silently exited her room and her former house; she was going to travel to her real home. Taking a last glance at the village she had lived for the past ten miserable years, she started the journey of her return to Sesshoumaru.  
  
'_Sesshoumaru, I'm coming back. This time, forever.'_  
  
**_End of Chapter Seven  
_  
A/N: kumi: oh god! That took me forever!!!!!! There you gooo!! A nice chappie that ends the (not so mysterious) mystery.  
  
sesshy: as if!!!  
  
kumi: don't worry, I know ur all stressed out... I can help u with that...  
  
sesshy: o  
  
rin: (kicks kumi off sesshoumaru) what the hell do you think you're doing??!!?!  
  
kumi: girl, you sure pack a punch!!  
  
rin: (eyes glowing red) grrrrr....  
  
kumi: hehe, just reviewwww!!!**


	8. On the Way

**Disclaimer: If I said I owed it, lawyers would sue, and I can't afford that. So NOO!!! I DON'T OWN IT!!  
  
A/N: Because some (insert all kind of insults here) person made ff.net be fag, they erased my fic and account. So I post it again. Without chapter ten, the lemon. Yes, cry all you want, but it wont come back. Well at least not here. I let u know were will it be later on. The chapters are exactly the same, without the thank you because they would not make sense. (I am on the verge on killing my monitor, so be kind with me.)  
  
Read me, Read me, Read me, Read me...  
**  
_On the Way_  
  
As Rin entered the woods, sunrise began. The soft veil of light that penetrated through the treetops illuminated her way. The humid, crispy leaves on the floor made a gigantic rug for the forest floor. Rin traveled further in the woods when she heard a small noise.  
  
"Who's there?!" Rin asked, as a reflex. Immediately, Rin's claws were dripping poison. Rin began to slash some bushes apart, when from out of nowhere came out a youkai. It's body mass wasn't much more bigger than a horse, but for what it was, it was massive. Its eyes were glowing, thirsty for blood. This was a familiar sight for Rin, for it was a wolf youkai.  
  
Rin observed the bulk creature with anger and fear at the same time. Fear; because it was this kind of demons that had once taken her life, and in another occasion almost bit off her shoulder. But more than fear, anger. She was mad at it because of so many times they had plagued her mind with endless nightmares; because it was a fear she had never overcame. In a second, her own eyes flashed scarlet red.  
  
With a flash, Rin effortlessly slashed the wolf youkai in pieces; chunks of flesh and bone bathed in blood were scattered through the forest floor. Rin took some steps toward one of the many mounds of bloody flesh. The stench was terrible, the mix of blood and poison intoxicated Rin to the point of almost passing out. She would have, if it weren't for some growls heard from beneath the bushes. Suddenly, the growls became more and more intense, and the whole pack of wolves came out. Rin rapidly counted about seventeen wolves, but they charged immediately. Rin's reflexes were good enough to wipe out about three or four of them, but they kept on coming. Rin's skills were fine, but just to fight a mere horse or cow, for Haneto had to teach her; against wolf youkai she was quite defenseless. But she still had one advantage; speed. Rin escaped the scene as fast as she could, dodging the wolves' bodies or attacks. She still was dizzy from the stench before, but kept on going. Turning her head to see if she had lost the pack, she didn't notice what was in front of her.  
  
BANG!!!  
  
"Huh?" From the floor, Rin slightly opened her eyes to see a tall man standing in front of her looking down. Because of the light's angle she couldn't see him too closely.  
  
"Are you all right?" he asked. His voice came kind, a bit worried.  
  
"Umm... yeah, I think so." she replied, still unable to see the man's face.  
  
"Well I— Damn wolves!!!" The wolves were starting to catch up with Rin's scent. They were about to attack, but they halted at the sight of the man.  
  
"Release her!!! She's ours!!" one of the wolves growled. Apparently some of these youkai could speak. Still, he stood no different than the others, but he was bigger and had a distinguishing black mane.  
  
"And why should I?! She's as much mine as she is yours!!" Rin blushed fiercely at the comment. '_His?! I barely met him!!!'  
_  
"WHAT?! You dare defy me!!!" The wolves started to turn more violent, but the apparent leader controlled them. "For your information, this wench here slaughtered some of my best warriors!! She deserves to be punished!!!" The man didn't bother to take a glance at Rin. "If you are not willing to give her to us, then we will take her by force, even if that means taking you down, punk!!"  
  
Rin was about to say something when the man stood forward. "Very well then."  
  
The man, who by the show of his skills was a youkai, confronted the wolves all by himself, and in a matter of seconds, the whole pack was dead. After finishing to clean some of the chunks of flesh, he walked up to Rin, who was still lightheaded. The man crouched down, reaching her eye level. He looked at Rin straight in the eyes, and said, "Are you okay?" Rin was quite taken aback by the sight of the man in front of her; he was really handsome. He wore a cape, velvet black on the outside, golden on the inside. The collar was like a scarf (A/N: I don't really know if they existed then), golden, attached to the cape. His kimono was red, the wide borders also golden, also like the belt he was wearing. In the belt, he held securely a black sword. His pants were dark gray, and his shoes were black. If she didn't know he was a youkai, she would have guessed he was a human male, about twenty-four years old. But he wasn't; when she looked closely, he had ears on his upper head. Pretty similar to those of an Inu youkai, but these were different. His long hair was violet, fixed in a red band, and his ears were of a deeper purple. His eyes were ruby red, gazing intensely at Rin.  
  
Realizing she was staring, Rin apologized between her teeth, somewhat nervous.  
  
"Umm, are you okay?" he asked softly.  
  
"I think so..." Rin's face was still cherry red. "...Thank you, ...for saving me."  
  
"Don't worry, its not everyday a beautiful girl like you falls onto one's lap!"  
  
"I— Do— ..." '_A beautiful girl...?_' Rin's face flashed about ten shades of red before settling on the one it was. "Don't say that...! You're making me blush!!" Rin turned her face another way so he couldn't see her shaded face.  
  
"Why? It is the truth! Shouldn't one always say the truth?" A simple smile touched his lips.  
  
"Yeah... but... I..." If possible, her blush turned even worse.  
  
"Calm down, calm down," He looked for her face circling her. "Just tell me, what's your name?"  
  
"Rin..." By know, she was 'forced' to look at his face. She couldn't help but stare at him straight in the eyes. Time seemed to stop for a moment; both gazes were locked on each other. There, scarlet met russet. Any expression was wiped off their faces. Finally, Rin continued, "What's yours?"  
  
"Nekosu." The smirk reappeared on his lips as he drew away from her. "What are you doing in this forest? It's not common for anyone to be around here."  
  
"Actually, I'm crossing the forest because I have to travel to the western lands. The only way I know is by crossing this forest. What are you doing here?"  
  
"Well, I'm here on my way to the village, but I'm just really looking around. I don't have anything to do really. But, why are you going to the western lands? I hear those territories are very dangerous." Nekosu's attitude was sort of jokingly careless.  
  
"I have to return to my lord's home." she said shyly.  
  
"Oh. Well, why don't I escort you to your lord's home?" he was smirking friendlily, holding out a hand for her. Rin blushed a little again.  
  
"Oh, no... you don't have to! I know the way there--" Nekosu cut her off. "But apparently your skills aren't that sharp for you to make it there." Mockingly, he held out his hand more insistently.  
  
"But... I—" He cut her off again. "Don't say another word! I will escort you to the western lands whether you like it or not!" His expression was mocking, making Rin laugh out loud.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"You!" '_Oh, well. I guess having him along can't be that bad, company never hurts... besides; he'll entertain me along the way..._'  
  
"Hmm... Nekosu?"  
  
"Yes?" His eyebrow arched a bit.  
  
"What kind of demon are you? I mean; you're not an Inu youkai, that's for sure. ...What are you?" Rin's curiosity had already gotten the better of her.  
  
"Oh, well I'm a Neko youkai. I'm sure you've heard of us, but our kind is sort of rare. You don't see a neko youkai everyday running around. Jeh! You are an Inu youkai, am I wrong?"  
  
"Hai. Well, I guess it's decided. You'll accompany me to the western lands."  
  
Nekosu took in a breath of air, "Weeellll, let's go! No time to lose!!" Rin laughed out loud at his strange behavior.  
  
"..." '_Now I might be able to get to Sesshoumaru-sama's castle faster... Jeh, he sure is eccentric... I wonder how will he react when he knows exactly were we are heading... I just hope he doesn't freak out.'  
_  
  
  
A few weeks had passed since they had met; it was dark already and they had settled a small camping site. A small fire was lit and they were sitting by it. The chemistry between Rin and Nekosu had grown better from all the time they had spent together, yet they had spoken only of Nekosu's past. Nekosu had told Rin that he been an orphan since he could remember, and he had only been traveling from place to place, living off people's charity. The sword and clothes he owned were a gift from a woman he had helped in the past. Silently, he scanned Rin's attractive features, one by one. He always used every opportunity he had for doing this. Rin was looking at the fire, lost in her deep thoughts, her eyelids half dropped. She was sitting, her knees to her chest and her arms around them. '_I wonder... Will she... I just wish...'_  
  
Rin stared blankly at the crackling fire, unaware that she was being observed by a certain neko youkai. '_Soon I will be with you, Sesshoumaru... oh, Kami how I've missed him! It has been ten years since I last saw him... and I'm just three days away from the castle, but I can't wait that long!! Please, let these three days pass quickly! I can almost see him...'_ The memory of the night before she left the castle still haunted her mind. The moonlight accented his features, his skin tone looked glorious under it. His silver hair flowed gently from his face, to his shoulders and waist, finally to the bed. His bed had four pillars, one at each corner, made of fine wood, decorated with small hints of gold details. The sheets of the bed and pillows were white, the color contrasting with his skin. Finally, the amber in his eyes glowed in the darkness with an intensity like no other. '_Kami, he looked so good!! Just good enough to..._' Rin's mind portrayed the most explicit thoughts of him she ever had, for she was not as 'innocent' as one may think. Rin mentally slapped herself. '_How could I think such things of Sesshoumaru-sama?!!! ...How will I ever face him...'_ Rin was blushing fiercely at her train of thoughts, and hid her face in her knees.  
  
"Umm... Rin?" Nekosu's voice was shy, not really wanting to disturb his companion.  
  
Rin snapped out of her thoughts as she heard the youkai's voice. "Yes?"  
  
"I was wondering, because in all of the time we've been traveling, I never have gotten an opportunity to ask you who was your lord... I just thought I wanted know about him, or her."  
  
"Oh yeah. It must have slipped my mind. It's a he actually," Nekosu felt a sudden sting of jealousy. "His name is Sesshoumaru."  
  
Nekosu's face went pale at the sound of that name. "...W—What?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing.  
  
"Sesshoumaru." Rin looked at her partner curiously.  
  
"Your master is Se— ...Sesshoumaru!?! The Lord of the Western Lands, Sesshoumaru?!" Nekosu had heard of the youkai lord's awesome power. His jealousy grew intensely.  
  
"Uhh, yeah."  
  
"So... you're that girl that left him about ten years ago, right?" Rin was hurt by the comment about she leaving him.  
  
"I didn't leave him!! He was the one who told me to go!" Rin was a bit pissed by now.  
  
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to anger you!!" sighs His voice came out shyly again. "Just tell me, what happened after you—he told you to leave?"  
  
Rin expression softened, now she was completely expressionless. "My aunt and uncle died when the carriage that was taking us to their palace was trashed by a gang of bandits. After that, I met an old tailor, whom I lived with for the next ten years. Now, I am traveling back to him, Sesshoumaru." Nekosu was surprised at how easily she had resumed her last ten years, which seemed to be quite painful.  
  
"But why?"  
  
"..."  
  
That answer even she didn't understand completely.  
  
  
  
Rin and Nekosu were almost at the borders of the castle grounds. The last one of the forests was finally clearing, as the daylight filtered through the forest's treetops. Their journey had come to an end.  
  
Nekosu had decided that he had to tell Rin of his newfound feelings now, or forever regret it. He had recently realized that he had grown accustomed to his companion's presence, too accustomed for his own liking. He had fallen in love with her. He couldn't stand any longer the thought of her leaving her side. Regaining all of his courage, he finally spoke.  
  
"Rin?"  
  
"Yeah?" Rin turned to face her friend, and was a bit surprised at his determined expression.  
  
He was standing upright, close to her. His hands were in fists, somewhat quivering. The violet bangs on his face blocked a bit of his eyes, but she still could see the ruby red eyes glowing under them. "I ...have to tell you something." He sighed, the continued, "I'm sorry... I know we just met nearly a month ago... but, when I'm with you ...or when I look at you ...my very soul trembles... When I think that soon you won't be with me any more, I can't help it, I become insanely desperate. Desperate because I won't be able to see you... touch you... feel you..." Nekosu cupped her face and pulled her closer. "I'm sorry, I love you."  
  
Rin couldn't quite grasp what she was hearing. The pleading words she had just heard had left her speechless. As Nekosu pulled closer, Rin didn't pull away. All she could do was stare at the scarlet red eyes that stared back at her chocolate ones. When their lips met, Nekosu began to devour her lips slowly and lustfully, wanting more. Since she wasn't pulling away, the passion of the kiss began growing. Rin felt shivers down her spine as he slipped his tongue in her mouth. She responded to the heat of the kiss to some extent, and then she realized what she was doing. Gasping for breath, she pulled away; she could see his ardent red pools, burning for her.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I can't." Rin finally said, after her breathing went back to normal. '_He just kissed me, exposing all of his feelings for me, yet I could only think of Sesshoumaru. That is not fair for him..._'  
  
Nekosu's eyes flashed hints of extraordinary pain. "W...why?" his voice was trembling.  
  
"I have to return to my lord... I already told you." Rin was avoiding his fervent gaze at all costs.  
  
"That's just an excuse," Nekosu grabbed her by her upper arms, forcing her to look at his fiery eyes. "What's your real reason?"  
  
"I..." Rin tried to avoid his eyes again.  
  
Nekosu's eyes were now covered by his bangs. The jealousy and pain he felt now were completely manifested. "You love him don't you?"  
  
"..." Rin couldn't help but blush at his affirmation, for it was her entire truth. Nekosu's grip on her arms shuddered a bit, and then he let go of her.  
  
"Why? How can you?! He left you at life's mercy, forcing you to leave with these strangers at the age of eleven! He hasn't even searched for you in all of these years!! If anything, you should hate him!" Nekosu's voice was more of a plead than anger.  
  
Rin's voice came softly, as she looked directly into his eyes. "How can I hate him? How can I not love him? He brought me back to life when I died, then took care of me... He never tried to take advantage of me; he always saw to that what I wanted, I had... I owe him my loyalty with my life. That is why I am returning to him. ...Now tell me, how can I not love him?"  
  
Nekosu couldn't win against Rin's reasoning. Nekosu's breathing was labored, "I understand... I'm sorry." Nekosu gave Rin the most painful smile he had ever had to give in his entire life. His existence suddenly seemed meaningless, but he decided he was beaten.  
  
"Thank you." Rin gave him a sincere smile, before he took off. Rin could see Sesshoumaru's castle in the distance.  
  
_'Sesshoumaru, I'm finally here! Now I know... I love you with all my being... Midoriko was right; I really can't stand being away from you... I wish you could be here with me right now... Now that I understand it all, I can finally be with you again!!_' Taking a deep breath, Rin took the last road she had to follow to reach the castle.  
  
**_End of Chapter Eight  
_  
A/N: kumi: doooooonnneeee!!!!  
  
sesshy: finally!! You sure are slow...  
  
kumi: just for that, you will suffer!  
  
sesshy: nooooo!!!  
  
kumi: ohhh yeah... unless... right here, right now... (looks at Sesshoumaru seductively)  
  
sesshy: hell yeah!! Good bye 10- year-long celibacy!!  
  
rin: NO YOU DON'T!!!! you people are animals!! Can't you control yourselves?!  
  
kumi: I can, but he can't!  
  
sesshy: (looking at rin) grrrrr...  
  
rin: (blushes)  
  
kumi: ha! I am evil!! PLZ, REVIEW!!!**


	9. Reaching Him

**Diclaimer: I... have a dream.... In which he will be mine. Will my dreams ever come true??  
  
A/N: Because some (insert all kind of insults here) person made ff.net be fag, they erased my fic and account. So I post it again. Without chapter ten, the lemon. Yes, cry all you want, but it wont come back. Well at least not here. I let u know were will it be later on. The chapters are exactly the same, without the thank you because they would not make sense. (I am on the verge on killing my monitor, so be kind with me.)  
  
I really wish that u people enjoy...**  
  
_Reaching Him_  
  
The final bushes of the forest had cleared, and Rin was in the castle's orchards. When she took the first step in the gigantic gardens, she immediately felt the dankness that inhibited the castle. The bright floor tiles she remembered from her childhood were now opaque and broken with time. Dust crawled through every corner that her eye saw.  
  
The beautiful flowers that bloomed everyday were now dried and dead. The clay pots that cultivated the many kinds of plants were now shattered and spread through the whole place. The little light that filtered through the material that was the roof was murky, making the atmosphere very dim. It was as if everything in the orchard had died.  
  
Rin proceeded, and found herself in the fountain sidewalk just outside the castle's main gates. The thin cobble-stoned road was mostly deteriorated, mostly by the lack of maintenance.  
  
The marble fountains that once magnificently poured water, were dry and full of moss. The small bushes that surrounded the area were poorly shaped; most of these were dead. The natural archway that followed the sidewalk was now dry and thin; opposing to it's past condition, when it was broad, filled with plants and full of life.  
  
The large wooden doors that marked the main entrance were now decayed, the once strong metal locks that guarded them were now rusted. Rin made no effort in opening them and was soon awed at the main room's condition. The glassy chandelier than hung from the tall ceiling had crashed down to the center of the room, and its broken pieces had scattered through the room. The red rugs were stained with many different colors from different substances. The most noticeable one was blood. Different pieces of kitchen china were on the floor, broken.  
  
After gawking at the total disaster that was the main room, Rin headed to the grand stairway at the end of the room. It started as one wide flight of stairs that divided into two, and these two divided into two more. In the end four stairways led to four different wings of the castle; the farthest one to the left led to the south wing, the more centered to the left led to the western wing, the more centered to the right led to the north wing, an the farthest to the right led to the east wing.  
  
Rin took the stairs to the south wing, which led to the kitchens and storage rooms; it was completely deserted. Rin searched each of the four kitchens finding all of the pots and kitchenware out of place. The six different storage rooms were empty; occasionally Rin would find some empty boxes. But not a soul was to be found.  
  
Next Rin tried her luck with the western wing. It led to the servants' rooms. One by one she checked the dormitories and found them in similar states. All were completely trashed. The curtains shredded; the beds unmade, the mattresses were torn inside out with their contents throughout the room. The night tables that the rooms were provided with were tossed in a corner, with their legs broken off. If there was any kind of pottery, it was shattered on the floor. Obviously no one was living here.  
  
Afterwards she proceeded to the eastern wing. Not sure what it led to, she rushed inside hoping to find anyone inside.  
  
She found the bath houses, that hadn't been maintained for quite a while; and the hot springs, in which the plants that bordered them had grown so much that its branches were dipping inside the water. The wing was also deserted. Halfway through she had remembered that the master bedrooms were in the north wing; apparently from all the time she hadn't been there she had forgotten.  
  
After having finished to explore the eastern, Rin headed towards the northern wing.  
  
The stairway in the main room led to a large hallway, decorated in a slightly gothic fashion. The old paintings of ancient youkai lords still remained there, but a thick layer of dust covered them. The chandeliers, that were similar to the one in the main room but smaller, were half hanging off the ceiling; others were crashed on the floor. Dust also inhibited the corners of the ceiling, and a slight breeze chilled the temperature. In the hallway there were about seven doors leading to different rooms, and in the end was another stairway.  
  
Rin remembered this hallway the most. If she remembered right, the doors led to luxurious guest rooms; the last one her own. After the door that led to her room, there was the red flight of stairs that led to the master bedroom. '_Sesshoumaru's bedroom; he must be inside!_'  
  
Rin's P.O.V.  
  
I moved through the hall carefully, not making a sound. I felt the chandelier's pieces shatter under my feet as I walked. As I stepped on the stairs, I could hear the wood creaking softly. The door to his room was at the top of the stairs, as always, closed. I pushed the door softly, but because the door was so old, I had to push it harder.  
  
When I saw his room, I froze completely. Everything was a disaster. The rice paper doors were shads now, and dirty drapes made the attempt of separating the balcony from the room. The study were he kept his most important books was now destroyed; the desk broken in half, the chair had been thrown against a wall and was missing two legs, and the random pages of some books were scattered through the floor.  
  
The curtain that covered the closet was missing altogether, except for a small piece of it, which hung from the top. Of the four pillars that stood in the corners of his bed, three were heavily scraped, and the fourth one had been broken off at its middle length, and its irregular splinters were pointing upwards. The sheets that covered his bed were black; these were messed up and also stained by blood.  
  
I couldn't help but recall what happened the night before I left the castle. When I stepped forward, I didn't notice the broken mirror by my side, rasping my forearm with a broken piece of mirror, slicing my sleeve open.  
  
Looking at my attire, an old saggy kimono, I decided I should change into a better one, at least decent. I took one of the few kimonos from my pack; I decided on a white one, with a red obi and simple red flower decorations on the ends of the sleeves. Now at least I could give him a nice image. I changed quickly, leaving my pack in a corner of the room.  
  
I walked to the balcony, and peeked outside, but no one was there. I was a bit disappointed that I didn't find him there. Then, I remembered what Midoriko had said, that I had to find the Shikon no tama. I looked everywhere for the jewel, but I couldn't find it. '_Maybe in the closet...?_' and there it was indeed. In his closet was a 'secret' compartment that only this room and her own had in the closet, and I still remembered it. I grabbed the Shikon no tama and stored it in my pack.  
  
Since I figured no one was in the castle, I decided to go to my room and lay there for a while. I exited the master bedroom and went down the stairway.  
  
Reaching the door to my room, I opened it silently. I gasped inwardly. Contrasting with the condition of the entire castle, my room was intact. The pale blue sheets that covered her bed were still there, as I had left them ten years ago. The closet still had the cerulean curtain in front of it. The long mirror with a golden frame was still standing, but it had a small crack that crossed it form side to side.  
  
The rice paper doors that led to the balcony were open, revealing a sight I would remember for my entire life. '_Sesshoumaru...?'_  
  
Sesshoumaru was standing in the balcony, his back turned to me. The only clothes he was wearing were velvet black pants. His naked torso was there, exposed to my eyes. His chest and arms were perfectly toned. The sight of his firm muscles and his tanned skin brought a fiery blush to my cheeks. My eyesight followed to his neck, 'Oh Kami, I am using all of my self- restraint not to jump on him!!' then to his hair. His majestic mane flowed from his head gently as ever with the night breeze.  
  
I couldn't bare it any longer. I dropped my bag, which made a loud bang as it hit the floor and I started walking.  
  
My voice came out in a whisper. "Sesshoumaru..."  
  
Sesshoumaru's P.O.V.  
  
I was standing at her balcony, staring at the view, thinking of Rin once again. I must have been very lost in my thoughts, because I didn't notice that someone had been in the door, until I heard a loud bang on the floor.  
  
"Sesshoumaru..." I heard the whisper. '_Am I dreaming?_' I turned around, and only the gods knew how happy I was.  
  
There she was, Rin, standing in the doorway with her mouth half opened. What I noticed next left me gawking. Rin was obviously not a child anymore. She wore a white kimono with red flower decorations on the sleeves. The kimono was quite tight on her; she filled quite well the shape of a woman. Her kimono had a slit that ran up to her thigh, revealing most of her long leg. Over the red obi that secured her rested the round shape of her breasts. If I didn't know better, my expression was of complete ogle.  
  
After a while, my eyes left her breasts and followed to the bow of her neck. Her silky black hair was now streaked with faint silver. Noticing her mouth was opened; I saw a pair of fangs in her teeth. Then, I set my eyes on her soft, rosy lips. '_I wonder how would those taste..._' Following her delicate nose, I looked at her eyes as she stared back at me. Her russet orbs were now circled by a golden hue similar to his own.  
  
"Rin..." My voice too was a mere whisper. As the gap between us closed ever so slowly, my eyes famished on the goddess' body that was now before me. I ran my sight through her body several times before settling again on her eyes.  
  
Normal P.O V.  
  
As their gazes locked together, the distance between them disappeared. Sesshoumaru's arm snaked around her waist pulling her closer to him; now their stomachs were pressed together. Sesshoumaru's free hand gently pushed the black locks off her face, and went to the back of her head for better control. Rin's arms flew to his neck, as if she was hanging off it. Both of their gazes lowered down to their lips, hungry for them. Sesshoumaru pulled Rin up to his face, and joined his lips with hers.  
  
The feel of her soft lips on his own made him lose all control. As Rin felt his lips wildly devouring hers, she responded urgently. The intensity of the kiss built up as he nibbled on her lower lip, asking for further reach. Rin parted her mouth letting him in, as both of their breaths came short and harsh. Chills traveled her spine when she felt his tongue stroke against his mouth. The heat they were both experiencing took over them, and they let instinct guide them.  
  
Sesshoumaru took both his hands and slipped them in the kimono's collar separating them, revealing her ivory shoulders. At the same time, Rin's hands traveled from his neck, to his toned chest, to his hard stomach, and slipped her hands in each side of the waistband of his pants, her thumbs rubbing the front side of his hips.  
  
Regaining his composure, Sesshoumaru pulled away gradually, first he pulled his tongue out of her mouth. He kissed her softly on the lips some more, then he trailed a few butterfly kisses down her neck. With each kiss, Rin let out a small gasp, tempting Sesshoumaru to let himself travel wildly among Rin's petite form. She whimpered at the loss of his lips on her.  
  
"Rin..." Sesshoumaru's breathing was still cut, but he recovered quickly.  
  
"Sess...Sesshoumaru..." Rin's breathing was still harsh.  
  
"...What are you doing here?" Sesshoumaru half asked the question.  
  
"Do I really need a reason to bee here with you?" came her reply.  
  
"..."  
  
"I don't care about anything else, I just want to be here with you." a sweet smile crept up Rin's lips.  
  
Not being able to form his all the intensity of his feelings into a single voice, a smile touched his lips, articulating her how he truly felt. Remembering the only time he had smiled to her, she felt heat rising to her cheeks.  
  
"Oh Sesshoumaru, I've missed you so much...!" tears were starting to form in the corners of her eyes. Sesshoumaru wiped them off with his thumbs.  
  
"Rin..."  
  
"...hai?" she rose her lowered eyesight to his.  
  
Sesshoumaru hesitated on the words he was going to say; he had never had to tell so much to anyone before. Sighing, he whispered to her ear. "Don't ever leave me again, please. Life hurts too much without you..."  
  
"Sess..." A satisfied smirk was placed on her lips. "I won't."  
  
Taking a deep breath, he continued, "If I don't say this now, I think I'm going to die;..."  
  
"..." Her russet eyes sparked with eagerness.  
  
"...Aishiteru."  
  
  
  
Reaching her peak, Rin's muscles convulsed around Sesshoumaru; making him reach his peak, spilling himself into her.  
  
Sesshoumaru collapsed on top Rin, embracing her. He gripped her right shoulder with his left hand, right over her scar. He kissed her softly, breathing into her. He increased the passion of the fervent kiss as she countered the same way. Sesshoumaru kissed Rin like she was life itself. Sesshoumaru could hear her giving out low moans of pleasure deep in her throat. When they parted, they simply stared at each other's gaze silently.  
  
Rin spoke lightly, "Sesshoumaru?"  
  
"Mmm?" he was lost in her stare, treasuring everything they had done tonight.  
  
"Watashimomata Aishiteru."  
  
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened at the sound of the whispered words. His amber gaze stared softly into her chocolate orbs. Rin blushed a little, realizing they were still connected. Sesshoumaru noticed too, and embraced the girl under him a bit tighter.  
  
"Thank you. ...For saying that." His voice was somewhat shy, still shaken by the whole experience. Of course, he had had sexual relations before, but never quite like this. Never with someone he loved.  
  
"It's the truth." She innocently stated. Sharing another infinite kiss, they fell asleep, surrendering to the night's moment.  
  
**_End of Chapter Nine_  
  
A/N: kumi: hoooooo. A gigantic cliffie!!!!! As much as I enjoy making them suffer, this had to happen. BUT, I still can torture YOU!!! mwuahahahah!!  
  
sesshy: ...  
  
rin: don't worry (pats his head.)  
  
Wanna know what really happened? Go to mediaminer.org. In the fanfic section, be sure to specify that the genre is romance, type songfic(ahem, the last chapter will be), rating NC17, and of course, its in english. **

**It's the real version of what really happened. (Also, it's why this story was deleted in the first place. ; )**


	10. Same Old

**Disclaimer: NO, NO, NO, AND NOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
A/N: Because some (insert all kind of insults here) person made ff.net be fag, they erased my fic and account. So I post it again. Without chapter ten, the lemon. Yes, cry all you want, but it wont come back. Well at least not here. I let u know were will it be later on. The chapters are exactly the same, without the thank you because they would not make sense. (I am on the verge on killing my monitor, so be kind with me.)  
  
I am back, yet not so good... here u go anyway...**  
  
_Same old  
_  
Rin opened her eyes slowly, adapting to the morning light. She stared blankly at the ceiling, remembering where she had seen it. '_Hmm... it looks like... my room... at Sesshoumaru's castle..._' Rin turned her head to her left to see the balcony doors half opened, letting the sunshine in. '_Is this real?'_ When she tried to move her arm, she felt something on it. '_What the hell?!!_'  
  
Her sight flew to the ceiling, afraid of what she might see. Then, to add to her embarrassment and panic, she realized she was naked, and whatever was holding her arm was clearly attached to her body. _'Oh damn it all!! ...What did I do know...?_' Swallowing her fear, she looked to the figure beside her.  
  
'_SESSHOUMARU?!_' Rin's face blushed to every different shade of red imaginable. Sesshoumaru was laying beside her in her bed, completely naked. His hand had a nice grip of her waist, as his left leg was crossed with her right. She could see that under the covers he, too, was naked. Feasting her eyes in the mirage that was his body, she memorized every inch of his body. Rin examined his shapely legs, from his toes to his knees. Then she gawked at his firm thighs, which led to his... '_Oh, Kami-sama it's HUGE!!! ...Well, he is a powerful lord youkai..._' She was fiercely tempted to touch him, but with the little shreds of composure she had left she resisted. After several minutes of internal battles, her eyes traveled upwardly to his hard rock stomach that surrounded his navel. Further up, was his wide, well-toned chest. His arms were firm, yet gentle to the touch. His silver hair was spread all over him and the bed, teasing her to run her fingers through it. Climbing his body, her eyes reached his neck. Fighting the urges to kiss him all over, she continued to his tempting lips, thinking of how good they would taste right now. She kept going upwards meeting with his perfect nose, and finally his eyes.  
  
His eyes were closed, as he was apparently still sleeping. His perfect form resembled that of a peaceful angel, his chest rising up and down. Rin focused on his eyes, which she had never had the opportunity to observe like this. His eyes began to open slowly, as she did nothing but freeze as she was. As his eyes focused on hers, her cheeks burned with the memories of last night; she remembered it all with the lusty look of his eyes. She chuckled a bit embarrassed, as he let her see a smile on his lips.  
  
"Good morning Rin." Sesshoumaru said. Rin was staring blankly at his amber orbs, recalling once again last night's events. The blush on her cheeks betrayed her attempt to hide whatever was passing through her mind's eye.  
  
"...Last night..." Rin's voice was trembling under the imposed gaze of his eyes. Another smile graced his lips again.  
  
"I thank Kami for last night." He closed the small gap between them as his lips met hers. Rin moaned softly, as the kiss intensified. As their breathings came shorter, Sesshoumaru broke the kiss. He whispered to her ear, so only she could hear him. "Domo arigato, Rin, for making me complete."  
  
Rin blushed fiercely, but contained herself. She also whispered to his ear, "There's nothing I would have wanted to do more." Sesshoumaru's only response was to nibble on her neck. Sighing, she shuddered under his touch, and she started to run her fingers through his silky hair. She stared at the walls while she felt his tongue brush over her neck. She closed her eyes, and for some reason unknown to her, she remembered about the castle's state. Sesshoumaru was still attending to her neck.  
  
"What happened to the castle?"  
  
"..." Sesshoumaru stopped his nibbling, and sat up on the bed. "I guess... the servants left me."  
  
"But... why?" her confused look only made him feel more defeated.  
  
"Rin," Sesshoumaru shifted to face Rin. "Things weren't the same in the castle after you left. The servants left one by one until there was none left. The castle was soon left unattended and began to obtain the appearance it bears today." Sesshoumaru looked down to the bed sheets silently, remembering how he had been able to merely survive through those awful ten years. His expression wasn't all too evident, but to Rin it was clear what he was feeling deep inside. He was afraid. '_Is he afraid that I might leave him again? He sure can be foolish..._' Rin kissed his lips softly, pulling him out of his trance. Then she repeated the word that made her able to sustain those ten years with hope of ever seeing him again:  
  
"Now, I will always be with you." His eyes lighted up before he kissed her deeply once again, showing her the immense amount of gratitude he felt towards her.  
  
"Domo arigato." He said with a whisper. She showed him a beautiful smile, and got up from the bed, pulling him with her.  
  
"Let's go get some breakfast," she said cheerily. After he exited her bedroom, she pulled the Shikon no tama from her pack. 'For safe keeping, I guess...' Afterwards she exited the room to the old hallway.  
  
  
  
Rin entered the south wing, followed closely by Sesshoumaru. Sighing, she remembered how glamorous the castle used to be. Sesshoumaru simply stared at everything with his usual indifferent stare.  
  
"We have to get the staff back Sesshoumaru... this place is a mess!" she told him, as he raised an eyebrow.  
  
"..." Taking his simple response as an 'Ok, whatever,' she kept observing the kitchens.  
  
Rin sweat dropped, "I really don't think that we'll find anything to eat in here, do you? Why don't we go to the closest village for food?" Sesshoumaru nodded casually in response, he himself had no better ideas.  
  
Rin smiled and went outside looking for Ah-Un or Jaken, but she halted. "Sesshoumaru... when you say that the servants left you... you meant all of them?"  
  
Sesshoumaru nodded silently. "Even Jaken?!"  
  
Silence.  
  
"What... what happened to Jaken?" she finally said softly.  
  
"He is... dead." Sesshoumaru's eyes showed no emotion whatsoever.  
  
"WHAT?!" In the past she had always been teasing and hassling the toad, but deeply inside she cared about him too. "How did he...?"  
  
Sesshoumaru hesitated to answer for a moment, but acknowledging this was important for her, he did. "He fell ill, of an unknown sickness. He died about six moons after you left."  
  
"..." She was going to say something, but then realized how lonely the years must have been for him all alone. 'That is not a way to live... but now I'm here, and that's all that matters, right?' Sesshoumaru's expression was as blank as ever, but Rin knew better. Taking his hand in hers, she rested her head against his side and walked outside, and headed for the village.  
  
When they arrived at the village, everybody recognized the youkai lord, who had 'awakened' from his ten-year hiatus. Whispers could be heard from every store in the streets, whenever they tried to get close to anyone, they would cower away in ear or would not be able to utter a single word. But to Rin's amazement, a little girl came form out of nowhere, and tugged impatiently at her white kimono.  
  
"Oyyy! You are a very pretty lady!!" the little girl smiled innocently.  
  
"Ehh... I guess... Arigato!!" Rin didn't know what to respond really.  
  
"What's your name, pretty lady?" the girl's smile had no intention of fading.  
  
"...Rin." The little girl's smile faded, her eyes widened.  
  
"Rin? That was..." the girl looked at Sesshoumaru for a second, then looked back at Rin. Her face had become from playful to serious in an instant. "That was the name that was heard on the crescent moon nights ...the name heard in the screams that came from the castle... Everybody knows your name in town!"  
  
"Eh??" the girl's sight fell to the floor.  
  
"Nobody could really sleep those nights... the screams were so terrifying..." Just as the girl finished saying the words, her mother called her.  
  
The girl's face suddenly turned playful again, "Bye, bye, Rin-chan!!" All eyes were laid on Rin as the little girl waved her goodbye. Loud whispers could be heard once again form the townsfolk.  
  
Turning to Sesshoumaru, she said, "Uh... Sesshoumaru...?" Rin looked at him with questioning eyes. "What she said... I it true?"  
  
"..." Sesshoumaru said nothing, meeting her eyes with his. His amber orbs told her more than a thousand words could. In them, she could see the pain, the loneliness, the fear, the happiness, the anger he felt, all at the same time. 'Same old Sesshoumaru...' Nobody could read those eyes better than her. Understanding quickly that everything the girl said was true, and that he couldn't really say anything to explain himself. Grabbing his arm, she held him close to her, as they exited the town.  
  
  
  
He could see Rin by Sesshoumaru's side, comforting him. 'Damn him! DAMN HIM TO HELL!!!' His scarlet eyes glowed with a passion never seen before in them; he was madly jealous. Not being able to stand the sight, he turned his back to the couple. "You WILL be mine... Rin."  
  
**_End of Chapter Ten  
_  
A/N: kumi: I know that was lame.  
  
sess: feh!!  
  
Thank yous:  
  
The RP: "Never give up, never surrender." One of my favorite quotes. Thanx a lot.  
  
kirla: I'm very sorry, but in order to keep the fic here, it must be removed. Sadly, the person who apparently reported left me an anonymous review, from 'Someone()' , so there's nothing u or I can do about it. Still, I really appreciate the offering!!  
  
Cattico: THANK YOU!! (u REALLY don't know how deeply honored I feel to have received a review from you.) I will be happy... !  
  
As I mentioned in chap. 9, the lemon is in mediaminer.org. check there for details.**


	11. Return With a Hint of Death

**Disclaimer: How many times now? 1765?!?! Godammnit, I DO NOT OWN SESSHOUAMRU OR ANY OF HIS FELLOW CAST MEMBERS IN 'INUYASHA.'  
  
Now, a very long awaited update or all of u ppl who have read this...**  
  
_Return With a Hint of Death_  
  
"You know... we should probably start looking for something to eat, since we won't be going to any village." Rin told Sesshoumaru, as they walked out of the forest into a clearing. Rin let go of his arm to pick up some flowers, smiling as she always did. Sesshoumaru stood there, looking at his dear mate walking toward the bundle of flowers. _'Gorgeous...'_ He took in a deep breath, inhaling her sweet wild flower scent. '_That is the only word worthy of her. She is perfect_.' Rin was walking back toward Sesshoumaru, his eyes silently worshipping her slender curves. Rin was wearing the same white kimono with red flowers from the previous night, but now he had the chance to take a good look at it. '_That kimono makes her beauty glow even more._' His eyes softened a bit at this though.  
  
Walking up to him she offered Sesshoumaru the bouquet of flowers she had carefully picked. Sesshoumaru took the bouquet in one hand and picked a red flower from the whole bunch. He carefully placed the flower on her ear, embellishing her face. Rin blushed slightly, as Sesshoumaru brushed her hair out of her face. With a small smile on his lips, he kissed her lips softly, holding her in his embrace.  
  
Rin felt Sesshoumaru tighten up suddenly, as he unburied his face from her hair. "There is a demon nearby..." he whispered to her.  
  
Due to her inexperience, at first Rin couldn't smell anything beside the aroma the flowers gave out, but then she picked up a familiar scent. '_Oh no... Nekosu?!_' Raising his eyebrow, Sesshoumaru felt that Rin could recognize the foreign smell because of her own.  
  
"Rin, do you recognize this scent?" Sesshoumaru softly asked. Rin didn't respond to his question, because she was too concentrated in the smell. Rin gasped softly as the bushes behind them rustled a little. Sesshoumaru whipped the bushes apart instantly, but the demon dodged the whip. Jumping out of the bushes, he revealed himself. Rin noticed that his black cape was missing, and his red and gold kimono was open, revealing his well-toned chest and stomach. Also, his violet mane was free of the red band that binded it, flowing freely in the wind. His purple ears were pointing upwards, and his hand was on his sword.  
  
"Who the hell are you?! Why have you been stalking us?" Sesshoumaru demanded vigorously. Rin shook her head. _'Why now Nekosu?!_'  
  
"Don't you remember me, Rin?" Nekosu looked at the woman with half lidded eyes. Sesshoumaru felt the deep sting of jealousy cut through him. He quickly turned his head to Rin, his eyes insisting for her answer.  
  
"Rin, how do you know this youkai?! I demand an answer!!" Sesshoumaru's eyes were starting to emit a scarlet hue, confirming her certainty that he was becoming angry.  
  
Rin took a few step backs from the two men, as she lowered her head, hiding her eyes with her bangs. "He escorted me... from the village..."  
  
"Did he do anything to you?!" he replied quickly. Rin only turned her face to keep him from seeing her shame. Sesshoumaru swiftly grabbed her by both of her arms.  
  
"I said: Did he do anything to you?! Answer me Rin!!" Sesshoumaru's fiercely gazing upon her started making her nervous. She didn't know if to answer him or not, afraid of his reaction. A small tear rolled down her cheek as she quivered in fear. His mind was quickly swarmed in jealousy, and unconsciously, his claws were releasing poison, spreading through her arms. Realizing what he had done, Sesshoumaru released Rin from his grip. Rin's eye color was starting to lose color, as she began to lose her balance. Sesshoumaru could only stare at the eyes of his mate, as his senses froze.  
  
Noticing Rin's lack of balance, Nekosu seized her, as she fainted from the poison's effect. She wasn't weak, but the powerful poison still took an effect on her. "You idiot!!! Look at what you have done!!" Nekosu stood with Rin's motionless body in his arms protectively.  
  
Sesshoumaru's eyes glowed deadly red. "STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!" his claws started dripping poison again.  
  
Nekosu didn't budge, looking into his amber eyes boldly. "It was only a kiss..." Nekosu's eyes lowered to Rin. His voice came out low "...she neglected me anyway, even after I told her that I had fallen in love with her..." Sesshoumaru's jealousy grew tenfold, but it still was not as great as the horrible guilt that he felt for having hurt Rin. "But seeing as you treat her, she is definitely better off with me!!"  
  
"SHUT UP YOU SMUT!!" Sesshoumaru's hands were clenched so tightly that blood was dripping from his fists. His hands were also shaking with anger as he stared at his eyes. Nekosu gently laid down Rin beside a nearby tree.  
  
"Why should I?! It's the truth! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE HER!!!" Now Nekosu's eyes too glowed scarlet with rage. A purple aura began to surround him as he began transforming into his full-fledged youkai form. First, his arms grew larger and longer, and darkened with a deep violet fur. His legs mimicked his arms, reaching almost ten times of its original size. A long, thick tail grew from his lower back, as his torso enlarged greatly. His nose and jaw grew into a cat-like snout, his eyes sharpened, as they turned completely crimson. From above his eyes flowed a long, violet mane, similar to his tail. Nekosu resembled a very large, violet wild cat.  
  
As Nekosu began his transformation, Sesshoumaru also started his own. Sesshoumaru's arms and legs grew tenfold. The pelt he wore incorporated to his torso, as it grew larger and wider. His ears stretched and grew a small mane at the tips. His tail was covered with long hair, swinging back and forth. His eyes became completely red; the crescent moon on his forehead remained. Also, instead of the four lines on both his cheeks were now two lilac lines that bordered the corner of his mouth.  
  
The two fierce youkais circled the clearing in which they were to battle, looking straight into each other's eyes. Paw after paw was put forward as their fierce visual war raged. Sesshoumaru glared at Nekosu's crimson orbs as his blood boiled in his veins. Loud snarls were heard from both of them. Nekosu hissed as his defiant stare was locked onto Sesshoumaru's.  
  
Nekosu quickly shifted his body's direction straight to Sesshoumaru, dashing towards his opponent, as Sesshoumaru did the same. Their foreheads met in a terrible clash, as they pushed the other with all of their might. The struggle continued for some seconds, until Nekosu moved his head to the side, leaving his neck open to Sesshoumaru. Taking advantage of the moment, Sesshoumaru bit into Nekosu's neck forcefully, as he could taste his blood in his mouth. Growling painfully, Nekosu struggled to break free. Sesshoumaru tightened his grip on the neko youkai's neck drawing more blood from the wound. Nekosu grunted once again and fell on his back, positioning Sesshoumaru on top of him. Nekosu kicked Sesshoumaru as hard as he could on his stomach, sending him unto a nearby tree.  
  
Nekosu stood up difficultly, the pain from his neck spread throughout all his body, making it tough to move. Sesshoumaru stood up quickly, and began circling the clearing again. Nekosu darted again to Sesshoumaru, only to be dodged by the giant dog, who sunk his fangs in Nekosu's shoulder. Sesshoumaru began shaking his jaw violently, making Nekosu whimper loudly. Sesshoumaru kept jangling Nekosu by his shoulder as the cat's blood flowed wildly form the wound. Sesshoumaru tossed Nekosu's body against a nearby boulder, cracking the boulder into several pieces. Nekosu grunted painfully as some snaps could be heard; some of his ribs and one of his leg's bones broke.  
  
"Fool." Sesshoumaru laughed softly as he approached the cat demon. Sesshoumaru jumped on top of him, pressing his shoulder drawing more blood from his shoulder. With unknown strength, Nekosu bit Sesshoumaru's neck deeply and pushed him to the side. Sesshoumaru clung on to Nekosu, still pressing on his wound; this made them begin to roll about the clearing, struggling to wound one another more. Both left trails of their blood as they hit some trees and stopped revolving. Nekosu kicked Sesshoumaru's heavy body off his once again, into a large rock. It was Sesshoumaru's bones that cracked now; his left front leg and various ribs had broken.  
  
Standing up on all fours, Sesshoumaru shook his head a bit form the jolting pain. Nekosu began to close the distance between the two as Sesshoumaru dashed madly toward him once again. Nekosu then did something unexpected to Sesshoumaru; he jumped swiftly to Sesshoumaru's rear and dug his claws very deeply into Sesshoumaru's shoulder to his broken ribs, and then backing away from him. Sesshoumaru groaned painfully, as large amounts of blood flowed from his wound.  
  
Rin's senses were awakened by her master's blood, as its smell intoxicated her mind. Her eyes snapped open as she heard his painful cry, horrified by the sight. On one side, Nekosu was bleeding from a bad bite wound in his neck, panting harshly, his senses completely focused on Sesshoumaru, who was lying on the grass, bleeding badly from the wound on his backside. Sesshoumaru struggled to stand up, but the wound was too painful to do so, and fell down again.  
  
Nekosu's voice came out deep and almost demonic, "Jeh, pitiful."  
  
Nekosu quickly began closing the distance between them, and rushed for a final blow. Drawing almost all of the strength he had left, Sesshoumaru managed to slash Nekosu on his snout with his unbroken paw; drawing a whimper from him and making him back off. Not having enough strength to sustain his demon form, Sesshoumaru transformed back into his human form. Sesshoumaru lay against a tree, covered in red stains, accompanied by his three swords. He was fighting for air and bleeding baldy, staining the grass beneath him.  
  
Nekosu chuckled once again. "Die." His claws began to glow with a purple hue, dripping some poison. Rin saw this scene horrified; as Sesshoumaru was unable to defend himself against Nekosu's next attack. Sesshoumaru stared at death's scarlet eyes unemotionally as ever; none of his limbs seemed to responds to his commands.  
  
Rin watched horrified as Sesshoumaru seemingly met a very certain death. '_Sesshoumaru... NOO!!_' Her legs sprung up with amazing speed, as she ran frantically towards Sesshoumaru. '_Now that he knows, Sesshoumaru may not be the same to me...'_  
  
She put forward leg after leg, feeling the still humid grass under her steps. Nekosu's claws began shimmering with the liquid pouring from them. _'...I know that I am not worthy of his love_...'  
  
Tears began spilling from her eyes as Nekosu slowly approached Sesshoumaru with a devilish grin. _'...but my soul still belongs to him...'_  
  
Nekosu slashed in Sesshoumaru's direction sending flashes of light toward him. Rin focused her eyes in Sesshoumaru's stained body. _'...and if there is anything I can do for his safety..._'  
  
Rin positioned herself between Nekosu's blow and Sesshoumaru with her arms open side to side, facing the inu youkai; her mate. _'...I will protect him with my own body..._' Sesshoumaru watched in awe as Rin materialized in front of him.  
  
Nekosu's blow came into contact with Rin's back, and a mix of red and purple colored the blood that spurted out of her mouth. _'...even if it means giving up my own LIFE!!!_' Sesshoumaru stretched out his arm to protect Rin. "Rin...!"  
  
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened as he could see Rin mouthing the words. _"Sumimasen... Aishiteru..."_ His heart fell from his chest as she closed her russet eyes. Everything seemed to be played in slow motion for him.  
  
Rin fell on her knees to the blood-spattered floor.  
  
As her body leaned forward, the air revolted her black hair with silver streaks.  
  
Rin's body plummeted on top of Sesshoumaru, allowing him to see her back. The wound Nekosu's poison had created was horrible. Three diagonal stripes cut the silky cloth of her kimono, along with her pale skin.  
  
Purple blood poured out from it, tainting everything it touched.  
  
Sesshoumaru held his breath as he turned over her body.  
  
Her face was pale and her lips had taken a bluish tone.  
  
He swallowed hard as he saw that she was not breathing. Sesshoumaru put his ear on her chest.  
  
Sesshoumaru felt his heart break and his soul shatter. Her heartbeat was gone.  
  
Rin was dead.  
  
**_End of Chapter Eleven  
_  
A/N: kumi: I busted my ass for this chapter, so please be gentle. ...okay, maybe it need to be fixed a bit... but not now.  
  
sess: (looks at kumi very dangerously with bloodshot eyes)  
  
kumi: (laughs VERY nervously) ejej... please review, it fuels my creativity. If u don't I won't write and sesshoumaru here will probably murder me coldly.  
  
Ahem... nobody reviewed chapter 10... but I do remember a reviewer in particular that asked me to rub his belly. (I think?) weelllllll... thanks to 'I' !!!! (im rubbing the belly)  
  
Also I wanna thank personally my good fellow authors/buddies(?)/crazypeoplewhofillmydefinitionofmindlesswithme: Zetus- chan and Hiroshi, who are always telling me to hurry up and write, and also give me part of their wisdom. Thanx!!!  
  
RRRRRRRREVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	12. Breathing

**Disclaimer: just leave me in my no-Sesshoumaru world alone. Until in my dreams...  
  
Ok, to the chap before I am killed!!...  
**  
_Breathing_  
  
He swallowed hard as he saw that she was not breathing. Sesshoumaru put his ear on her chest.  
  
Sesshoumaru felt his heart break and his soul shatter. Her heartbeat was gone.  
  
Rin was dead.  
  
Sesshoumaru's breathing started to cut; as he gawked at the fragile body he had in his hands. Knots began forming at the mouth of stomach and his throat seemed to have closed. His hands began shaking violently, despite the pain of the damage received. Clutching his hands slightly on her shoulders, tears began rolling down his cheeks.  
  
With his eyes shut tightly, he let out a horrifying scream. "NOOO!!! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN!!!" Any creature that was in the surrounding areas probably fled with fear of the terrifying sound.  
  
The sorrow that had just surfaced in him quickly became abhorrence for the demon in front of him. His eyes became scarlet once again. As adrenaline fueled him, he began standing; ignoring the pain his broken ribs and arm caused him.  
  
Hatred boiled in his veins, as unknown power surged from within him. His right hand grasped the tenseiga, which had been pulsating along with the tetsaiga beside it. His body reacted strangely to it, as the effect it would take normally on the receiver of its blows now affected its beholder. The tenseiga emanated yellowish swirl of power that traveled through Sesshoumaru's whole body, healing all of his wounds in the process. The blood pouring from his wounds stooped flowing as the skin healed.  
  
Soon Sesshoumaru had regained all of his strength. His now healed left arm seized the tetsaiga as his fingers firmly enveloped it. An amethyst whirl left the tetsaiga, mimicking the yellow one. The effect the two powers combined had on Sesshoumaru was quite frightening to anyone that was on the other end of the swords. The whirls fused into his body as his eyes focused on Nekosu's traumatized ones. Sesshoumaru's eyes had stopped crying and the red in them was darkening. In fact, his eyes were turning from scarlet to raven. The two swords were tightly clutched in his hands, pointing toward their opponent.  
  
The opponent, Nekosu, was trembling in sight of what he had done. '_No... Rin... that was intended for him... why did you have to get in the way...?'  
  
_Flashback  
  
"Umm... Rin?" My voice was shy, not really wanting to disturb her.  
  
Rin seemed a bit startled. "Yes?"  
  
"I was wondering, because in all of the time we've been traveling, I never have gotten an opportunity to ask you who was your lord... I just thought I wanted know about him, or her."  
  
"Oh yeah. It must have slipped my mind. It's a he actually," I felt a sudden sting of jealousy. "His name is Sesshoumaru."  
  
I think my face went pale at the sound of that name. "...W—What?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  
  
"Sesshoumaru." Rin looked at me curiously.  
  
"Your master is Se— ...Sesshoumaru!?! The Lord of the Western Lands, Sesshoumaru?!" I had heard much of the youkai lord's awesome power. My jealousy grew intensely.  
  
"Uhh, yeah."  
  
"So... you're that girl that left him about ten years ago, right?" Rin seemed hurt by the comment.  
  
"I didn't leave him!! He was the one who told me to go!" She was a bit pissed by now.  
  
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to anger you!!" I sighed, and my voice came out shyly again. "Just tell me, what happened after you—he told you to leave?"  
  
Rin was now completely expressionless. "My aunt and uncle died when the carriage that was taking us to their palace was trashed by a gang of bandits. After that, I met an old tailor, whom I lived with for the next ten years. Now, I am traveling back to him, Sesshoumaru." I was surprised at how easily she had resumed her last ten years, which seemed to be quite painful.  
  
"But why?"  
  
"..."  
  
Flashback  
  
"I'm sorry, but I can't." Rin finally said, after her breathing went back to normal.  
  
I felt like a million daggers pierced my chest eyes flashed hints of extraordinary pain. "W...why?" My voice was trembling.  
  
"I have to return to my lord... I already told you." Rin was avoiding my eyes.  
  
"That's just an excuse," I grabbed her by her upper arms, forcing her to look into my eyes. "What's your real reason?"  
  
"I..." Rin tried to avoid me again.  
  
I lowered my head. The jealousy and pain I felt was now eating me alive. "You love him don't you?"  
  
"..." Rin blush at my statement, it seemed her truth. I loosened my grip on her arms a bit, and then he let go of her.  
  
"Why? How can you?! He left you at life's mercy, forcing you to leave with these strangers at the age of eleven! He hasn't even searched for you in all of these years!! If anything, you should hate him!" My voice was more of a plead than anger.  
  
Rin's voice came softly, as she looked directly into my eyes. "How can I hate him? How can I not love him? He brought me back to life when I died, then took care of me... He never tried to take advantage of me; he always saw to that what I wanted, I had... I owe him my loyalty with my life. That is why I am returning to him. Now tell me, how can I not love him?"  
  
I couldn't win against Rin's reasoning. My breathing was becoming very hard then, "I understand. I'm sorry." I gave Rin the most painful smile I had ever had to give in my entire life. My life suddenly seemed meaningless; I decided I had been beaten.  
  
End flashbacks  
  
Warm tears flooded his eyes as he transformed back into his human form. His head was lowered, his bangs shielding his eyes. "I actually thought if I killed you I would she would be able to love me..." his hands clenched in fists began shaking, as the tears spilled onto his face. "but I only ended up hurting her..."  
  
Sesshoumaru's rage fueled as the other youkai spoke. "NO!!! You did not only hurt her, YOU KILLED HER, YOU BASTARD!!!" Nekosu's crimson eyes met Sesshoumaru's gold and raven ones.  
  
Sesshoumaru began walking towards Nekosu, step after step his hatred grew stronger. Crossing the swords in front of him, he let the blades make contact generating sparks. The sound of the grass crunching under his steps thundered in his ears as he saw Nekosu fall on his knees, muttering something about death.  
  
Nekosu could see the inu youkai coming towards him as Sesshoumaru crossed the blades. Nekosu felt his knees fail him, and fell on them. "I don't think I even deserve to die after what I have done, but I will accept it anyway..." he said in a low tone. Nekosu's eyes met Sesshoumaru's one last time.  
  
"DIE!!!" Sesshoumaru's rage burst within him as he pulled the swords in opposite directions, the chafing of the blades making them glow. When the tips met, a blast of energy was expulsed from them towards Nekosu. When the blast met Nekosu, a powerful explosion could be heard, but no screams could be. The blast burned Nekosu until the flames devoured his body completely and no traces of his existence were left.  
  
Feeling as if a weight fell off his shoulders, a much heavier one dawned upon him. Turning slowly on his heels, he looked at the lifeless corpse lying on the bloody grass. _'...Rin._' The black from his eyes had turned into the normal white they usually were, with a somewhat tender look in them.  
  
Sesshoumaru walked slowly, approaching her. _'...You can't just leave me...not after..._' his strength weakened as he closed in to her, the tetsaiga fell trough his hand, with a soft thud against the grass. He was about 2 meters from her when he stopped walking. He couldn't bare the smell of death on her beautiful self.  
  
"You can't just leave me...!!" Sesshoumaru clutched his fingers tightly around the tenseiga and slashed Rin's body with it. A thick line of yellow adhered to Rin's laying form as her body stirred a little. The yellow line dissolved into Rin's skin slowly. Sesshoumaru watched this eagerly; as after the light sunk into the body she should awake from her 'sleep.' When the line dissolved completely, a desperate silence filled the air. Sesshoumaru's eyes widened with terror, Rin hadn't reacted to the tenseiga's slash. Sesshoumaru's grip on the sword began shaking. He slashed her again.  
  
There was no reaction. Sesshoumaru's bangs covered his eyes as his hand's trembling worsened. _'...no...'  
_  
Once again he used the tenseiga, but this time he did not do it once, he slashed her numerous times blinded by sorrow. "You can't die, RIN!!!" Sesshoumaru kept slashing her limp body like a madman, which jerked every time a hew came in contact with it. "NO!!!" Tears came form his eyes as his sword failed him in the time he needed it most.  
  
His arm seemed to lose force, as he stopped hacking the corpse. The sword slipped from his fingers to the ground, sticking up as it had fallen straight into the soil. His breathing cut, he came closer to the body, "Rin..." Sesshoumaru collapsed onto her, his hair draping over her and the floor. He sobbed into her neck, his hand on her neck.  
  
"Why... Why did you have to leave me again?!" His shoulders were bobbing along with his bawling. "Why did your family had to come and take you away from me all those years ago?! I spent all that time waiting for you to return... and now you die??"  
  
Sesshoumaru's hand was unconsciously following along a necklace she was wearing. "Why did you leave me again?! ...why did you had to die... why couldn't it be me...??" he was sobbing to her ears, as his hand found a round orb between the folds of her bloody kimono.  
  
"You can't just leave me!!!" his voice had a very desolated tone. "I FUCKING HATE YOU!!! ...RIIIIN!!!" His screams were now muffled by her hair and her neck. The hand that instinctively had found the orb now tightly clasped it, his knuckles had turned white. "I HATE YOU!!! ...I hate you..."  
  
Suddenly Sesshoumaru no longer found himself embracing the body of his dead mate. He was now kneeling in the middle of a thick, pink mist. His began searching for any signs of his whereabouts. Suddenly a tall, black haired woman appeared before him. Her colorless eyes glared down at him. She wore robes similar to the woman who had haunted his brother's life for a long time. There was a small smile in her pink lips.  
  
Sesshoumaru was too stunned to speak. The woman widened her smile as she began to speak. "Sesshoumaru... do—" but Sesshoumaru had recovered from the small shock.  
  
"Who are you? Where am I? Where is Rin!? Answer me!!!" Sesshoumaru demanded.  
  
The woman gave Sesshoumaru another smile. "Patience. I am Midoriko, the spirit of the Shikon no tama. Where you are is of unimportance. And Rin..." her expression turned into one of pity. "She is right here." Rin appeared before them, as beautiful as ever. She wore a completely white kimono, cleaned of all the blood she had had, but concealed in a transparent crystal. Her eyes were shut and apparently not breathing.  
  
"Rin!! Rin can you hear me?!" he asked, banging on the surface of the crystal.  
  
"It's useless you know... She can't hear you. She's dead."  
  
Sesshoumaru glared at Midoriko coldly. "Why didn't the tenseiga have any effect on her?"  
  
"Ah yes, the tenseiga. You see, Rin was wearing the Shikon no tama around her neck, which shielded her of the effects."  
  
"Wait, what? How is that even possible?"  
  
"Simple. I had a spell on it so that the tenseiga did not take its usual effect."  
  
"Again, WHY?!"  
  
"Did you ever noticed that no demon actually attacked the castle in order to attain the jewel for its power?"  
  
"What does this has to do with Rin??" Sesshoumaru was growing restless.  
  
"Patience. Did you ever notice?"  
  
Sesshoumaru sighed. "No I never did. In fact... I had forgotten that it was in my possession all of these years..."  
  
Midoriko smiled. "This was because a wish had been placed upon it. After a wish has been made, its aura fades, until the wish is fulfilled, when it will disappear."  
  
"It makes sense, but who had wished ..." Sesshoumaru trailed off.  
  
Midoriko continued after Sesshoumaru's interruption. "The night after you saved her from the wolves attack, she gave you the jewel, as a return of the favor of saving her life. I trust you remember this?"  
  
"Yes, I do." As a matter of fact, he remembered those moments with Rin very clearly.  
  
"That night, she made a wish. Unconsciously, yes, but she still made it." Sesshoumaru's eyes widened with interest. "She wished to by your side forever and for you to love her as mush as she loved you. The jewel of course won't disappear before the wish is done, but none could sense it."  
  
"But why hadn't it disappeared before... I mean; I love her with my soul! I've longed her so much for the past ten years and now she's ...gone"  
  
"Remember, she wished for you to love her as much as she did. She died for you. The wish was finally granted completely when you said you would trade fates with her... now you know what you don't have. You need her. You lust for her. As much as she did you. Now it is granted. But she also wished to be by your side forever... it was quite unfortunate she passed away though—"  
  
"Can you make her live again?" Sesshoumaru snapped.  
  
"Well yes, but—"  
  
"I don't care, just make her live again."  
  
"But you must unders—"  
  
"I said I don't care. Just make her live. I will make sure her wishes are fulfilled; I will live for it. Now just do it." Sesshoumaru said. His eyes could tell her how badly he needed the woman to live.  
  
"Very well then." With that, she touched the crystal engaging Rin, making it shatter. Rin fell onto Sesshoumaru's arms. Rin was still motionless as he knelt down to put her on the floor. Sesshoumaru looked up to ask the priestess of her state, but she had vanished, and so was the pink fog surrounding them. He returned to reality.  
  
Sesshoumaru looked down to Rin, who was now bloody once again. Suddenly, she gasped sharply taking air into her empty lungs. Her russet eyes opened slightly to meet Sesshoumaru's amber ones for a moment, then closed once again. Sesshoumaru panicked for a moment, but then realized that she was breathing. Finally she was there, with him waiting by her side to make her wish come true. '_Like it should be forever.'_  
  
Without warning, the jewel rose into the air from Rin's necklace and shattered into pieces that scattered throughout the land once again.  
  
Sesshoumaru stood up, with an unconscious Rin on his arms. He summoned his flying cloud and set off to his castle. '_To make her wishes come true... as she has fulfilled mine.'_  
  
**_End of Chapter Twelve  
_  
A/N: kumi: omg, thank goodness!! I finally finished after the 734 writer's block I got though it. I am so sorry to have taken so long!!! Just for you to be happy, I have an aching sunburn all over my back that can't let me think straight. (So if you wanted for me to feel pain, thank no sun block on my skin!!) aannnyyyywayyyyyyy... I hope to write the next chapters faster.  
  
sess: (looks at kumi less coldly) then hurry up and write!!  
  
kumi: ok, ok, don't kill me yet.  
  
Thank yous: (wow, some ppl actually did this time!!)  
  
sikaria: joder. Oh well.  
  
The RP: its ok. Hope u like!!  
  
UgLyDaRkFaErIe547: I killed her and revived her. ain't it fun?  
  
vj: oh thanx!! (blushes slightly) addictive? Is that good?  
  
joanne: eeeppp!! Thanks!!! Well as u can see he did. Just ineffectively.  
  
keeper-of-the-triforce: yes he was.  
  
hm: I did?  
  
Zetus: don't worry as all is A-ok.  
  
jessica elliot: as u can see I can't kill her... I am too much of a sess/Rin fan to do so.  
  
Oh well.  
  
RRRRRRRRREVIEW!!!!!**


	13. With Care

**Disclaimer: I own Sesshoumaru. MUWHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!! Ok ok. That's not true, I don't... LET ME LIVE A LITTLE!!!!  
  
BE HAPPY...  
**  
_With Care_  
  
The warm midday wind caressed his face as he rode the sky with his woman in his hands. Sesshoumaru could hear her soft breathing against his neck, making his skin shrill. He held her fragile figure against his manly form protectively, as if she was the most valuable treasure of the world. The terrible gashes from the neko youkai's blast had gone, but the bloodstains remained. The kimono was soaked in purple and red, staining also Sesshoumaru's robes.  
  
  
  
Sesshoumaru could feel the presence of a human as he arrived at the castle grounds. His eyes flashed red when the thought of someone intruding his castle crossed his mind. Holding Rin's body tightly against his chest, he headed towards the intruding human. Sesshoumaru went through the orchards, passed the fountains that circled the castle, drawing nearer to the trespasser. The human carelessly walked in Sesshoumaru's direction, unknowingly if the danger he or she was. Sesshoumaru's adrenaline kicked in for a moment, and he stepped forward to face the mortal.  
  
To Sesshoumaru's surprise the trespasser was a small human girl, about eight to nine years of age. Her long hair was raven, and her eyes emerald green. She was wearing a short yellow kimono, a bit worn out, but still fashionable. In fact, the little girl reminded Sesshoumaru of Rin when she was that age. When she finally spoke was when Sesshoumaru recognized her; she was the little girl from the village earlier.  
  
"Eeep!! Gomen nasai, Sesshoumaru-sama!!! Gomen!!" the little girl muttered, kneeling and lowering her head pleadingly.  
  
"What is your name and what are you doing here?" Sesshoumaru asked coolly.  
  
"M-my name is S-shino, m-my lord. I came here because I heard a scream..." The body in Sesshoumaru's hands had captured Shino's attention. "Is that the lady Rin?"  
  
"..." Sesshoumaru nodded in response to her question. '_Lady...?'  
_  
"...Is she alive?" Sesshoumaru nodded again. "Hai!!" Shino smiled brightly at the news. She turned her heels to leave, but stopped slightly and waved back to Sesshoumaru.  
  
"I'll be back!" Shino ran off before he could react properly. '_She will be back? Hmm...?'_ Sesshoumaru looked down at Rin's dormant face and sighed; he tightened the grip on her body a little more, and headed inside the castle's safety.  
  
Sesshoumaru passed the main gates into the great room; then avoided all sorts of debris from different parts of the room. He climbed the stairway and the northern wing stairs. He carefully intruded the seemingly forgotten hallway, and then he entered the door to Rin's impeccable room. He walked to her bed and gently placed her on it, brushing gently the hair out of her face. Sesshoumaru felt odd for a moment, feeling as if he had been in this exact same position before. He then realized that he had; ten years ago, the night she had been attacked by the second time in her life by wolves and almost had lost her. When he had returned her to her room, he had placed her on her bed just as this night. Back then; he had saved her from almost certain death, just as this time. He admired her feminine features once again, as he leaned in closer to her face. He could feel he even breathing in his cheeks, and he pressed his lips softly against hers. Sesshoumaru smiled gently as he thought, '_Here we are... once again... Rin... I already miss you so...'  
_  
Sesshoumaru sighed sadly and rose from the bed and walked to the balcony. The afternoon sun prickled against his skin as the breeze blew his hair. He also had been in this position ten years ago... when Rin had left in that wretched violet carriage, crying because of him. '_Kami, I hate to remember that..._' But at least now he was at peace; no one would take his mate from him ever again. '_She is mine and nobody else's.'_ A little voice in his mind added, '_And you are her's,_ Sesshoumaru...' Knowing that this was very true, he chuckled slightly.  
  
The sun and the breeze were getting the better of him as he lost track of time and was suddenly feeling very tired and needing for sleep. '_I could use a nap alongside Rin..._' But the thought was abruptly brushed off as he felt humans trespassing his grounds once again. His nerves were calmed down by the acknowledgement that the humans were familiar to him. One was the village girl called Shino; the other was an old woman.  
  
Sesshoumaru sighed in relief. "Haneto."  
  
  
  
Descending the last step of the stairs, Sesshoumaru saw Haneto and Shino through one of the large windows of the room. He opened the large wooden doors of the castle and greeted the two with his nonchalant stare.  
  
"Sesshoumaru-sama, Haneto-chan asked me to guide her to you!" Shino said eagerly. Sesshoumaru only turned his eyes on the old woman behind Shino. Her white hair was tied in a bun behind her head and her robes were saggy. Her amethyst eyes looked straight back at Sesshoumaru.  
  
"Yes... Renu told me that Shino came to visit you against her mother's whishes. When I found her she informed me what she had seen, and I told her to take me to you." A small smile was spreading in her lips. "I believe Lady Rin resides within the castle?"  
  
"Yes she does. Whatever business you have with her I can manage."  
  
"Sesshoumaru let me inform you that it was I that took her under my care for the last ten years." Her tone was suddenly more serious.  
  
Sesshoumaru took in what he had been said for a moment, then spoke clearly, "I believe she trusts you and is well acquainted with you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then you will stay here as her care taker for if there is a time that I may not be present." His voice was firm and he wouldn't accept any objections. Not that Haneto would have any.  
  
"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Shino's shy voice asked. Sesshoumaru looked at her as his response. Her breathing halted a bit at his stare on her.  
  
"Can I stay here to take care of Rin too?" Sesshoumaru would have objected automatically, but Shino's resemblance of a younger Rin got the better of him. Her pleading emerald eyes didn't let him deny her anything. Even a sudden wave of protectiveness rushed in him.  
  
"...You may." Shino's eyes lighted up instantly at the words. Haneto looked at him fondly; Rin had apparently transformed the youkai's heart.  
  
"Domo arigato, Sesshoumaru-sama!! ...I'll go tell my mother that I will be staying here!" Her brightened expression told Sesshoumaru he had done the right thing. She hurried in direction to the village.  
  
Haneto smiled sweetly as Shino disappeared into the green forest, then she fixed her eyes onto Sesshoumaru's, who looked back. "Shall we go inside? Preferably to where Lady Rin resides."  
  
"..." Sesshoumaru nodded and led the way.  
  
  
  
Once they entered the door Haneto let out a small gasp, when she saw the bloody Rin. He didn't want to have to explain it all now, so he decided he was going to know what happened to Rin in those ten years she wasn't by his side.  
  
"Haneto, why do you say Rin spent the last ten years under your care?" He was serious.  
  
"Because she did, Sesshoumaru."  
  
"How did this happen?" He demanded.  
  
"She explained to me when I found her." Deciding she would tell the whole story, she took in some air. "I recognized her because of the yellow kimono she was wearing that day... Ehem. Her expression had been tainted, not longer joyful," '_as you told me she was._' She though adding to her sentence, but she didn't. Even though it had been indirect, she knew what he had meant.  
  
Sesshoumaru was about to interrupt when she followed. "What had tainted her innocence, you may ask? No she had not been harmed, physically at least. Psychologically she must have been torn--"  
  
"Get to the point Haneto!!" She was starting to get on his nerves.  
  
Haneto gave him a strange look. "After her carriage exited your lands, a bandit gang assaulted it."  
  
"I knew I shouldn't have let her go!!!" Haneto could see sadness and rage building within his eyes. His fists were closed tightly and shaking. Haneto raised her brow at his burst out comment.  
  
"Knowing you Sesshoumaru, you probably told her to leave on some stupid pretense. You probably couldn't look at her in the eyes." Her tone was scornful. Seeing his reaction she had nailed the issue. His eyes darkened with sorrow, saying nothing. Haneto inwardly congratulated herself for knowing him so well. To cut the awkward silence she went on with the story.  
  
"She was not harmed physically, as I have already said. But," She took a deep breath. "She saw her aunt and uncle being murdered." Both of them looked instantly at Rin, who lay there sleeping peacefully. Haneto looked at her with a pitiful look. Sesshoumaru looked at Rin with a longing expression. '_I'm so sorry Rin... I should have never let you go... you must have been so alone_...' Sesshoumaru mentally hated himself for being so foolish. He just wanted to kick himself so hard... '_I honestly don't deserve you... you gave your life so easily for mine when I had made you suffer so much..._' Small tears formed in the corners of his eyes as he recalled her terrible death.  
  
Flashback  
  
I watched in awe as Rin materialized in front of me. Rin positioned herself between Nekosu's blow and me with her arms open side to side, facing me.  
  
Nekosu's blow came into contact with Rin's back, and a mix of red and purple colored the blood that spurted out of her mouth. I stretched out my arm to protect her. "Rin...!"  
  
My eyes widened as I saw Rin mouthing the words. "_Sumimasen... Aishiteru..."_ My heart fell from my chest as tears fell from her russet eyes. Everything seemed to be played in slow motion.  
  
Rin fell on her knees to the blood-spattered floor.  
  
As her body leaned forward, the air revolted her black hair with silver streaks.  
  
Rin's body plummeted on top of me, allowing me a view of her back. The wound Nekosu's poison had created was horrible. Three diagonal stripes cut the silky cloth of her kimono, along with her pale skin.  
  
Purple blood poured out from it, tainting everything it touched.  
  
I held my breath as I turned over her body.  
  
Her face was pale and her lips had taken a bluish tone.  
  
I swallowed hard as I noticed her breathing was gone. I put my ear on her chest.  
  
My heart broke and my soul shattered. Her heartbeat was gone.  
  
Rin was dead.  
  
End of flashback  
  
_'I'M SUCH AN IMBECILE!!!'_ Sesshoumaru's hands were on his face as he sobbed loudly. He could feel the warm tears on his cheeks. Suddenly aware of Haneto present in the room he attempted to wipe his tears, but Haneto's voice made him stop.  
  
Her voice was low and careful. "What happened to her?"  
  
His red eyes met hers; his voice was low and severe. "After you finish your story."  
  
"Very well. After she escaped from the carriage in the woods, she ran for the nearby village. Of course, the village were I lived. When I recognized her, she explained me how she had come to be there. Afterwards, life was peaceful for us. Well, except for the youkai changes you blood had caused on her." Sesshoumaru looked at her slightly amazed, but didn't comment. "Yes, it was quite evident Sesshoumaru. First her fangs. Following, the markings on her wrists, her claws, ...and then her hair and eyes. She didn't tell me exactly when they happened but I always knew. She left our house shortly after her eyes changed. She left a note. It simply read: 'I'm going back to my master.' Nothing else. After that I suppose she arrived here, but apparently something happened here that I am not informed of. Sesshoumaru, what happened to her!?"  
  
Sesshoumaru's breathing was halting, but he managed to calm it down. A small smile crept up in his lips; he didn't care anymore for shielding his emotions to Haneto, there was no point in it anymore. His amber eyes were darkened.  
  
"I was in here, in the balcony; thinking about her, about the day she had left... when I felt her presence. It was odd though, different. As always, I thought it was a ghost of her ...haunting me. She entered through the main doors and checked every wing, south, west, east... and finally north. She went into my room for some time, probably gawking at the disaster that it is. Then she walked to this room's door, opened it and called my name." "_Sesshoumaru..._" He recalled the moment in his mind feverishly, making his eyes brighten again. He sighed and continued.  
  
"Rin was beautiful that night. Her black hair had silver streaks, and her eyes were circled by amber. She was wearing a white kimono, with red flower decoration on her sleeves. She approached me and-- we... mated." A very slight blush colored his cheeks as he recalled the events of that night. Haneto smiled sweetly and spoke for him.  
  
"It was quite expected, yes. What happened afterwards?" He relaxed a little.  
  
"The next morning we set out to the local village for some food, and we, erm, got recognized, so we decided to head to the forest. There we"-his voice sounded dangerous suddenly-"met a neko-youkai, who claimed to know Rin." He took a deep breath and his voice came out ashamed. "I demanded Rin tell me the truth, and I... I accidentally poisoned her with my claws... She fainted, and the neko-youkai and I fought to death. He was about to kill me, when Rin..." Sesshoumaru's breathing halted. "S-She... she stood between the blow and me. That blow killed her." Haneto could tell that this was what he had been recalling when he dropped his façade, he cared immensely for Rin, and that remembering these events were obviously very painful for him. His voice was bitter now.  
  
"The next thing I did was killing the bastard with my father's swords." A low growl could be heard. His eyes concentrated on a certain part of the wall, which, if it had been a living creature, would be severely harmed. "Afterwards, I tried to revive Rin with the tenseiga, but it didn't restore her though. I brought her back to life with the Shikon no tama that was hanging from her neck." Haneto was very surprised by the turn out of events, of course, she knew of the jewels legendary powers. Also she knew that Kagome had been the latest miko to be in possession of the jewel. She decided it was best not to interrupt. "She then fell into the sleep she is now, and I brought her here, when I found Shino in the grounds. Obviously she went to the village and informed you of this." He paused and though for a moment.  
  
"...Now that I think of it, how did you come across Shino today? You don't live in that village."  
  
Haneto was quite relieved that his tone had changed to a more relaxed one. "Ahh, well yes, I coincidentally had come to the village to buy and sell some fabrics for my shop." Haneto showed her relief by letting a smile out. "I'm glad we settled everything."  
  
"So am I."  
  
**_End of Chapter Thirteen  
_  
A/N: kumi: IM SO SORRY FOR HAVING KEPT YOU WAITING FOR SOOOOO LONG!!!! I KNOW YA'LL WANNA KILL ME, BUT HEY! AT LEAST IM UPDATING!!!!! Now, you drag ur little ass to the next chapter because, yes, you may not believe it but, YES, I updated two chapters. BE HAPPY AND REVIEW!!!!**


	14. Guidance

**Disclaimer: FEH!!! I shall not fall prey to your lawyers. I do not own Sesshoumaru or any of the Inuyasha characters.  
  
To the second part of my marvelous update...  
**  
_Guidance_  
  
Sesshoumaru rose awkwardly from his position and walked to the balcony, where he stood pensively. The sun was beginning to lower from its high position in the sky. He looked back into the room and observed as Haneto began to tend to Rin; as soon as Haneto began to undress the limp woman Sesshoumaru turned around quickly, suddenly feeling unworthy of her sight.  
  
"Haneto, I shall be leaving the castle temporarily to call back the servants that once attended me in this castle. In these times you shall take extra care of Rin. I do not want any inconveniences while I'm gone."  
  
"Yes Sesshoumaru." Haneto smiled sweetly and went back to her current chore.  
  
"Also... while we have company besides us, you will address me with the proper respect this castle's master deserves." Sesshoumaru was still giving his back to the two women in the room.  
  
"Of course... Sesshoumaru-sama."  
  
  
  
Sesshoumaru had emerged from the north wing's door, and had halfway crossed the main room when he heard two firm knocks on the castle's huge doors. Sesshoumaru hurried to attend whoever was at the door to be able to complete the tasks he had to get done as quickly as possible to return to his dear Rin's side. He opened the doors with a swing that distressed his visitors. There 2 startled faces, a male and a female, greeted him. Also another face, slightly panicked, looked back at him. Shino. He had been so withdrawn in his own affairs that he had not taken notice of the trio that was now staring at him.  
  
Shino bowed deeply. "G-gomen nasai, Sesshoumaru-sama!!" The other two stared curiously. The first was a human female, dressed in a yukata. Her eyes were crimson red and her hair was long until her waist, and dark green. She had freckles and had a fiery appearance. She resembled Shino very much despite the eye and hair color. The second was also a human, but this one was male. He also wore a yukata, which gave him a field worker's appearance. His hair was jet black, it measured against his ears and neck. He had jade green eyes.  
  
"Se-Sesshoumaru-sama?!" The woman stammered for a second. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Yes?" Apparently the woman had managed to compose herself enough to speak.  
  
"I am Renu; Shino's mother. Accompanying me is my husband, Lumos. We have come here with Shino because she proclaims to have your permission to stay here at the castle. Is this true m' lord?" Renu was gripping Shino's shoulder as if to scold her.  
  
"Yes that is true. I have granted you daughter welcome into my castle."  
  
"Then we as her parents will stay with her here or else she will not stay." Sesshoumaru saw a slight hint of a plea in Shino's eyes as she spoke.  
  
"Very well, you shall stay here then. Now accommodate yourselves in the castle for I have business to attend to right now." Sesshoumaru walked past them as they entered the castle but Shino followed him some steps behind. Sensing this he turned around and faced her.  
  
"Yes, Shino?"  
  
"Umm, Sesshoumaru-sama? Are you going to bring more people to help Lady Rin?" The mention or Rin as 'Lady' stuck him as unusual again, but he now would have to get accustomed to it, for she was now his mate.  
  
"...Yes." The answer seemingly brightened her mood even more.  
  
"Those are good news Sesshoumaru-sama! Because she makes you happy m' lord, Lady Rin deserves to live. And with more people to help to get her to wake again, it's even better!" Shino turned around and walked merrily alongside her parents, who were apparently surveying the room.  
  
_"Because she makes you happy m' lord, Lady Rin deserves to live..."_ Unaware that a small smile had crept up to his face, Sesshoumaru summoned his cloud to head to the surrounding villages.  
  
  
  
Sesshoumaru arrived to the seventh town this afternoon and it was past sunset, and, as usual the villagers had foreseen him and had taken shelter within their homes. He scanned the town's houses quickly and saw that they were still in their inhabitable state, and that for some years they would not need repairs. After a while some of the villagers had poked their heads in curiosity to see what their lord was doing. Sesshoumaru quickly grew uneasy about this and decided to speak once and for all.  
  
"This message is for the relatives of my servants that inhabited my castle ten years ago. I demand your presence in my castle for it has been unattended for many years and needs repair. Those of you who are unable to do so are lifted from the obligation, but your relatives still have it. I shall be expecting you by midday tomorrow. That is all." Sesshoumaru turned to leave when a woman walked out from her house and stood by his way, on her knees.  
  
"M-m' lord, Sesshoumaru-sama, is-is it true that L-Lady Rin has returned to the castle? We have heard this rumor from a nearby town. I-is it true?" The woman was shaking in fear but she remained in her position.  
  
"..." Sesshoumaru nodded in response and summoned his cloud to leave the village, for now he was returning to his castle.

As he distanced himself from the village, he could hear a crowd forming around the woman that had spoken to him. He decided to hear their exited chattering on a nearby tree since he didn't had better to do.  
  
"Is it true then?" An eager young woman asked. She had electric blue hair and red eyes. The woman who was once on her knees answered her.  
  
"Yes Arilee, Lady Rin has indeed returned, my family and I are most pleased to return to the castle now." Arilee stood pensively at her comments while the others from the crowd chattered vividly.  
  
Sesshoumaru felt as if he already knew how this conversation was going to turn out so he decided to finally head to the castle.  
  
  
  
As he entered Rin's room he found Haneto and Renu attending the mistress. She was coughing and grunting. When Renu realized the Lord's presence, she immediately left the soaked towel she was using and bowed as she exited the room. Sesshoumaru glared at Haneto as if to question her to death.  
  
"Haneto, what is wrong with her!?" Instinctively he took one of the soaked towel Renu was using and handed it to the elder woman.  
  
"She is only coughing up some water that she needed to drink. Apparently I gave her a bit too much—"  
  
"NEVER let it happen again, you understand me Haneto? Never. I want her to feel no pain or suffering of any sort." Sesshoumaru looked as if he was about to fume. Haneto simply looked at him thoughtfully.  
  
"Sesshoumaru... I find an old saying very appropriate for now; ..." She took in some air. "'Pain lets us know we are still alive.' You cannot shield her of all the pains in this world because it is impossible. But I know for certain that you will protect her from all that you can. And so shall we." Sesshoumaru definitely felt calmer after her words. He softened the tight grip he unconsciously had on the soaked towel.  
  
"Haneto?" He asked without raising his eyes.  
  
"Yes m' lord?" she was covering Rin with a thick blanket.  
  
"When Rin was revived, the 'spirit' of the Shikon jewel tried to tell me something but I did not care to listen. Now this though haunts me, as those words may hold the key to why she has not awakened." He took a deep breath and waited for Haneto to speak.  
  
"Indeed. Most certainly those words may hold the key to her sleep." She paused, but continued quickly. "But I do not fear for it." Sesshoumaru raised his eyes to her in utter confusion. "If it had been of vital importance she would have made you listen to her. You were simply too keen." She paused again then with a slight smirk continued.  
  
"Keenness seems to run in the family..." the following she added as a whisper. "...Just like your brother, Inu-yasha." Sesshoumaru looked at her with half lidded eyes.  
  
"I heard you, Haneto."  
  
"Yes, I know." She smiled innocently. "Good night m' lord."  
  
Sesshoumaru was left in the room in the room a bit startled by the old lady's words. 'Like my brother!? FEH, What does she know...'  
  
  
  
Five nights had passed since Rin's return. Four nights since she had fallen into that deep slumber. Haneto had been staying in a room in the same hall as Rin's and Sesshoumaru in case anything happened. Quite a number of servants had arrived the day after he had visited the villages. Even more due to his extended searching. The castle was making a remarkable recovery from those ten years of gloom. Secretly, Sesshoumaru had wanted to make all repairs to the castle in the less time possible; he wanted the repairs to be done when Rin awakened.  
  
Now, he was there in her room waiting patiently as much as he could. Since they were now mates, and masters of the castle, he decided he would sleep in the same room as her. It didn't had to be in the same bed as her, but he just wanted to be by her side as he awoke every day. Also he wanted to be the first thing she saw when she awoke.  
  
Sesshoumaru closed the drapes, since the light that came from the balcony may disturb Rin. '_As Haneto said, I will protect from as much as I possibly can_.' He had already prepared his futon to sleep, and he was standing beside her, with a sad look to his face.  
  
"Please come back, I need your guidance."  
  
**_End of Chapter Fourteen  
_  
A/N: kumi: Yes. I feel like I owe you much apology. Yes, yes. I remember saying that I would update more I the summer now that I had more free time... but apparently god proved me wrong once again, and that did not happen. But at least now I'm updating 2 chappies this time... OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!  
  
sess: yes, and you have made a pathetic wimp of me.  
  
kumi: err... yeah.. sorry for that... hehehe... (is very frightened by the sight of sesshoumaru's claws right now) BUUUT, wouldn't you be at least a bit mentally damaged ater seeing something like that?  
  
sess: ...  
  
kumi: w00t!!  
  
Thank Yous:  
  
keeper-of-the-triforce: heh... I'm flattered...  
  
sikaria: hmm the shortess sometimes I can't help... but I hope this mends it... hah, yeah.  
  
hm: weeeell... not SO sad anymore...  
  
jessica elliot: yes, yes. That is one of my wishes too... what girl wouldn't want that!?  
  
Zetus: weeeell you might say that it was all to prove a point... yes I know that I made a big deal about it. I'm lame and we all know that already.  
  
animegirl007: hai hai!  
  
The RP: domo!  
  
Half Angel Half Demon: wee!! me likes chocolate bars!! Yes I know sess is well quite crazy and weak in this fic I already have pointed that out... BUT I have only 2 words for you... MANARIE NOW!!!  
  
SakuyaTsuki: yes I do have a happy ending. What kind of evil being do you take me for? (pretty evil is my guess...)  
  
UgLyDaRkFaErIe547: as I already said, it apparently was to prve a point. Lame ne? ...hmm I didn't exactly hate Nekosu... well, yes he was a bit over- obsessive, but he was a nice guy...  
  
kaitlyn: whoa!!! gangster?? That's a whole new achievement for me!!! ...I wish I knew French...  
  
W00T!!! RRRRRRRRRREVIEW!!!! **


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